Embracing Self-Image: The Art of Boudoir Photography and the Dance of Self-Acceptance

Speaker 1:
0:26

It's a new week and a new episode of A Witch, a Mystic and a Feminist, with your host, jamie Marlena and Christy. Today, we welcome mom, wife and photographer Amber. Carl Amber specializes in helping women step into their power through Boudoir photography. Welcome to the show, amber. We are very excited to have you. Oh, thanks, I had to practice saying Boudoir photography slower because it was like I kept messing it up. I'm like this is some easy word. I don't.

Speaker 2:
0:56

I don't get what's happening, but it is hard, though I still have to slow myself down, sometimes More.

Speaker 1:
1:02

Yes.

Speaker 3:
1:07

Yes, you have to slow it down. I just have to add real quick that Amber is a dear friend of mine, that we met here in Las Vegas both what transients here, that we just moved and then shuffled on to our new places here and Amber moved far away, which made me sad.

Speaker 2:
1:24

Oh, we still stayed connected, so that's what I love. That's awesome, yes.

Speaker 3:
1:28

Yeah, so that's how she came into our little world here, and my experiences with Amber have been amazing. Her photography is just beautiful. You've done weddings, you do. I remember you did a sports session for Stella. We did the soccer and Stella got to get all her hair done and makeup, which wasn't her favorite at like the age of seven, but she did it anyways. That was fun. Yeah, you're so talented, thank you. And now, with your Boudoir photography, really just bursting from the seams up in Washington, tell us about that. Tell us what you do for women and what your focus is on.

Speaker 2:
2:12

Yeah, it's been really great. My focus is mainly on just photographing women in a way where they can start to see themselves in a new light or start to see themselves like through the eyes of the people who love them. So you know, every woman struggles with like negative self-talk and talking down to themselves and everything. So my favorite part is when they come into the studio and they're unsure of what's going to happen and they're nervous and they're scared, but then throughout the experience, you literally see this person transform like right in front of your eyes and they're starting to feel it and I'm starting to see those things and actually feel those things that people tell them as compliments and yeah, and then they leave on this amazing high and then they get their pictures like a week later and it all starts over again.

Speaker 1:
3:09

So, yeah, no, it's just really good to be a part of. How did you decide to get into Boudoir photography?

Speaker 2:
3:15

It actually. So I've been a photographer really since about 2009,. But I would photograph everything families, weddings, all of it and I would do Boudoir here and there, just like for friends. And then when we moved to Vegas is when it really started to become more of a thing and I think it was becoming more of a popular thing too. Like when I first started in photography, it wasn't very big, but it started to become more and more, especially there. So I focused on it more there and that was 2018 probably. But then we ended up moving back to Washington and it's like things just kind of started opening up for Boudoir like met a woman who had a studio space that I could use and started a group on Facebook for all of these ladies, and then they all just kind of started referring their friends and it just took off from there and I love it and she travels with it too.

Speaker 3:
4:20

So she'll do women retreats in different. You've done Hawaii, vegas. Obviously. You've come back and had women sign up for these retreats and Boudoir sessions and it's just, it's beautiful, and if you go to her webpage or you follow her on Facebook, you'll see some of the amazing photos that these women are willing to share. It's just such a beautiful light you put on for these women and really empowering them to feel comfortable in their skin. I think that's what I get the most from your work. What does a typical session look like? So someone finally gets the courage to do this?

Speaker 1:
5:05

right.

Speaker 3:
5:06

And they're like, oh, hey, it's gonna be that picture for my husband. But what does a session look like? What do your clients go through?

Speaker 2:
5:15

So most of the time they'll come in and I work directly with a hair and makeup artist, so they'll have hair and makeup done by her first. And I love that because she talks to them and gets them all excited for their shoot and boosts up their confidence and everything. And it really helps with nerves because nearly everybody's nervous when they first come in. So then once that's all done, then we go up to the studio and we'll go through. I have them bring outfits, but I also have like a client closet too where they can try out outfits and see what works. And we'll decide together, like what outfit do you wanna start with? And then we'll move on to this one. And I usually ask them what their favorite outfit is, because I save that one for the middle when they're really feeling it. So put on the favorite outfit in the middle, yeah.

Speaker 2:
6:10

And then I just we go throughout all the different sets in the studio and I direct them the entire step of the way, so they never need to be like what pose do I do? What do I do with my hands? I don't know what I'm doing. How should I smile? How should I smile? Should I smile? I'll just I tell them and show them throughout the whole thing. Yeah, and then usually too, like I'll have a favorite picture pop up and I'll show it to them on the back of my camera, and that always boosts their confidence too, because they'll be in a pose and they'll be like this isn't gonna look good. And then they see the picture and they're like that's me. Yeah, that's how it usually goes, that's fun.

Speaker 4:
6:54

So, like for me, I am a bigger girl and I'm, like you know, 50 pounds heavier than I was a few years ago and have insecurities. How would you make me feel comfortable and confident in a session?

Speaker 2:
7:10

Honestly, like a majority of the women I photograph are all different body types, so just showing people throughout the shoot like ways to pose, so you feel good. Also, showing the photos on the back of the camera, too, helps. I think, though, that a lot of it is just how my personality is, and you, just as soon as we get together, people have said I just felt comfortable instantly. And I don't. Yeah, I don't know it just. Whenever anybody, I always try to let them know how amazing they look and yeah, it's just, it's fun.

Speaker 3:
7:51

She has a very calming vibe Amber does, and so, yes, I can agree with like just being in her presence. It's a very soothing type of energy, so, which I think is actually very important for the work that you do, because, my goodness, I can see how it would be very intimidating for women to come in and start posing in lingerie they probably never would have thought they would wear before there has been, let alone being photographed by someone else.

Speaker 2:
8:23

And one of the funniest things is, too, is that it happens every single time. Somebody will come in and they'll say okay, you can change into your first outfit. There's a bathroom right there. If you want to go in there, they'll go in there, change into their first outfit. We'll go through the poses and then we decide to change outfits and they come back and they're like I'll just change right here, I'm fine, I don't need to go in the bathroom, you've seen enough.

Speaker 3:
8:52

You've seen enough Makes me laugh every day. So when your clients walk away after these amazing sessions, they have just got to be on cloud nine. I can imagine the boost in confidence and being in their own skin. Have you had like just? I feel like I would be in tears when I was done, because I just I don't. You know, we all work on our insecurities and loving ourselves in our skin, where we are at every moment in our lives, and it's tough at times, especially with the social media out there and telling us what we should look like Exactly. Do you have any stories of clients just overwhelmed? Or they walked away and your just heart was full because you knew you did something magical for them?

Speaker 2:
9:42

Yes, there's one that sticks out immediately and I love. She's come back to me a couple times and I've loved all of her shoots. I use lots of her photos on my website and for advertising and things like that, because it is exactly that story. She was in a tough place. Not Her body had changed. She wasn't comfortable in it and didn't really know who she was again after having kids and getting out of the military and just so many different things. So she came and she did a shoot and I remember showing her one of the pictures after we did the pose and she couldn't speak. She just broke down in tears Because she was surprised to see herself in that way and she loved it. So there's that one, and I've also heard afterwards just how the confidence boost just carries on throughout into every other aspect of their life. So they feel so much better about themselves and excited that it just spreads.

Speaker 3:
10:51

And Lane. I remember in our pre-interview and I think this is pretty important to share as well Marlene had asked about your editing afterwards. Are you cropping and cinching? Go ahead, Marlene. Yeah, because.

Speaker 4:
11:08

I think that that's important. There's a lot of Photoshop that goes around and, talking about social media, you have certain celebrities or whatever, making themselves look thinner and elongating things. Again about me I have stretch marks, I have my tiger scars. Do you Photoshop those out or anything?

Speaker 2:
11:29

No, and you'll see, one of my big messages and you'll see it on my website too is that your stretch marks, your scars, everything that makes you you proves that you've lived your life and laughed and loved. So my whole message is to embrace those things and because they make you who you are. So, no, I don't ever edit them out. I love that.

Speaker 3:
11:52

I think, yeah, that was a very valid and important question in our pre-interview and I think that was very important to share because it is loving your body the way it is and for you to reinforce that and empower women to embrace the scars, the stretch marks, the roles, if you will. You know, or lack thereof, but you know, let's be honest, there's a lot of women out there who struggle with their bodies, who are super thin, and we just we have to embrace them. So I think it's beautiful to know that you're not here to make up an image. You're here to show the beauty that you're in right now.

Speaker 2:
12:33

Right, yeah, and Jamie, that's one of the big things I remember you and I connected on and like, became friends and built a friendship on, is that first conversation we had was about exactly that. I remember so, mm-hmm.

Speaker 3:
12:47

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And Amber, prior to her moving, we were talking about your Ula classes, right? So? And I had never heard of Ula. It's like Zumba, but on a different level. Yeah, I don't know how to explain it, but I went to one of her Ula classes because she taught them and it was very again, women empowerment, feel good, um, dance, have fun, you know, burn some energy and burn some calories, and it was always a very empowering session of exercise. So you've always been on this path and what you do for women and and their confidence does a lot for the world. So you know, it's beautiful to see what it's really what.

Speaker 2:
13:34

It's great. I feel like I've always been a helper, like I just really love helping people feel better about themselves, feel good, feel empowered, whatever it is. So the Ula kind of helped I don't know, it infused the photography a lot too what?

Speaker 1:
13:50

is Ula. Yeah, like can you explain it? I think I'm still confused. Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2:
13:56

It's a dance fitness class. Basically, it came out of Missoula Montana, so the woman who created it called it Ula yeah.

Speaker 3:
14:06

And it's fun, but it was. It was like I would come out of there sometimes during a session like in tears Because the music she chose and the movements that we did and everything it was a lot of fun. Then there were, you know, the fun party nights that we would like do a shot before we started class. So I mean it was, and she would have the, the neons going on and everything. So it was a lot of fun.

Speaker 4:
14:28

It was a lot of fun, but yeah, so I have a question for Kristy and Jamie. Have either of you done a Boudoir photography session?

Speaker 1:
14:37

I have done Boudoir adjacent. I don't know I've done. Yeah, I mean I haven't gotten. Yeah, I guess you could say, yes, I have. When I was a lot younger.

Speaker 3:
14:51

Um things we learned, yeah, but you know I keep telling Amber I need to, but I haven't yet.

Speaker 1:
14:59

It's interesting because, for me, doing it when I was a lot younger obviously your body's a lot younger Like it's a lot firmer. I've never been that firm, but, like you know, and so I've thought about it many times, I should do it again because it really did empower, right, like, even if there were photos that I didn't like, right, that came out of the shoot, there were photos that I did and that I still cherish today, I still look at. I'm like I really like that photo, like that's me, you know. So I really do think like I should do it again, um, because my body has changed so much, right, we've I've had kids, I've, like, you know, I'm 40 years old, all these things have happened and I've lived, you know, probably another 20 years since that photo session, um, and I wonder, like, would I feel the same? I'm fairly certain I would, you know, walking out of there finally, you know, but, um, I have the same hesitations for the same insecurities, right, like, I don't know, I want to see that.

Speaker 2:
15:56

I don't know, you know, uh, you're not so happy that you have those. Now I am To look back on yeah, I am, and I, you know I criticize them because I'm like oh, what were you doing with your face?

Speaker 1:
16:08

Like, what were you doing? Like, what were you doing? That's weird. Like you know, I like criticism, like nitpick a little bit, but overall when I look at them it's just a sense of like, wow, you did that and you were very, you were a very shy person, you know, and like that wasn't necessarily you, um, on the outside, you know. And so I'm glad that I have them to look back on and say I did that and I have fun and it was empowering, it was nerve wracking, it was so out of my comfort zone, but I have these to commemorate it and so yeah, yeah, definitely Okay.

Speaker 3:
16:37

So question for Marlena would you ever consider doing this? Would you ever consider doing it? Yes, yes, I assume your answers.

Speaker 4:
16:44

You haven't done it yet? I have not.

Speaker 3:
16:46

You asked me and, chris, I have not.

Speaker 4:
16:49

I mean, I consider it, but at the same time, like I said, I'm like 50 pounds heavier, and you know. So I have those thoughts of, well, if I drop 20 pounds or 30 pounds or you know whatever it is, that my goal is, you know it's like, oh, maybe I'll do it then, but um with that, like you know, someone does a consultation is like, oh well, I'm going to wait until I'm like 30 pounds lighter. What would you, um, what would you say to them?

Speaker 2:
17:14

I would probably tell them that it's so much more than the photos.

Speaker 2:
17:18

Like it's great to have the photos, um, to look back on, like we were talking about, but the experience itself is like every woman should do it and you don't. I always tell people like you're beautiful how you are right now and you don't need to lose any amount of weight, you don't need to change anything, you don't even need to go buy new outfits, I'll take care of that for you. But just, um, experiencing it and then being able to say that you did that and having that experience to look back on and then the photos are like those are a bonus and throughout the experience, too, it can help you start to see like you might feel like, oh, I need to lose 50 pounds, like you said, or whatever it was, um, but looking at the photos, you a lot of people see them and they go, oh, I'm, I'm fine, just how I am, like I don't need to lose anything. Just experiencing that and then seeing how they actually look, yeah, yeah, that's always great. So that's probably what I'd say.

Speaker 3:
18:23

That really hits because we don't see ourselves like others do. Exactly so that that makes me a little emotional because it's um, yeah, with our worst critics, exactly so. When you get to see it through others' eyes, when you have those photos, it's a whole nother experience and it's very hard for us to not criticize ourselves. But then you have amazing people like our family or friends I had last weekend. We went out to lunch at Lazy Dog with the kids and I'm just sitting there and this lady walks by and she goes. I had to stop and tell you how beautiful your hair is. I just saw you take it down and put it back up in a bun and I can't tell you what that did for me. Like I just it's you never, we never get to experience how people see us in that light until we step outside of ourselves. And I think these sessions, these photos, can do that for women.

Speaker 2:
19:25

That's exactly it.

Speaker 3:
19:28

It's a beautiful sentiment, Sentiment sentiment. Sentiment, I can't say the word. So I love that and I love what you do for women. Thanks.

Speaker 2:
19:38

I get emotional about it too. It's pretty powerful thing If you think about it. That whole transformation from the inside out is my favorite part.

Speaker 4:
19:46

Do you have music playing when you're doing the shoe? Okay, I do, yeah, okay, is it completely silent? I'm like, is it really quiet? And you're like it's.

Speaker 3:
19:57

it's just quiet, stillness and her camera clicking, that's all.

Speaker 1:
20:02

You're staring at them. That's not weird?

Speaker 3:
20:05

It's not weird at all. Yeah, I would need music blasting or something like boom. I can't think about it, what I'm doing, just let me do it and that's then they'll get.

Speaker 2:
20:15

They kind of get lost in the music and then like my directed and showing them what to do and everything, but it just helps them get in the mood a little bit more. I bet it's funny too, because I do. I do couples, so a lot of the times you'll have like the husband or the boyfriend is like this makes me really uncomfortable and I always tell them like you just give it a few minutes and then it'll be like I'm not even there, it's just you and your partner just reconnecting, reigniting that flame, whatever the reason is, and they just kind of get lost in it too. So does it get spicy?

Speaker 1:
20:54

Yep Sometimes.

Speaker 3:
20:58

She's on no comment Confidentiality, I'm not photographing that yeah.

Speaker 2:
21:06

Sometimes I'm like, okay, you guys can we go to different places.

Speaker 1:
21:10

No, you're a glass of water.

Speaker 3:
21:13

And I do want to mention too, your studio. She's done the beautiful beaches and waterfalls in Washington it looks like. So water type sessions as well. I mean, they're just stunning. And there's a lot of people probably out there too. They're like oh, lingerie, Like I'm not, it's not even like a body thing, I'm just not a lingerie person. So you know, it doesn't have to be lingerie. It's funny. I'm sitting here thinking what would I wear if I did? I mean, I keep thinking I'll just be rolling around in like a sheet or something, Like you know, the sheet would be my lingerie, I don't know. But so there's a variety of wardrobe options if lingerie isn't your thing, if you don't want that. So, and scenery too, Like you've done the waterfalls and the beaches, and it's beautiful. I think it'd be freezing. That water has got to be freezing when they're doing it.

Speaker 3:
22:04

Oh cold, I did it a little bit. Freezing.

Speaker 2:
22:07

They're like in it, they're in the water, oh, I did it a little too late in the year last year, and so they were quick shoots.

Speaker 3:
22:17

Like they have got to be cold. That is freezing water up there in Washington.

Speaker 4:
22:22

So what is one of your favorite poses to put your clients in?

Speaker 2:
22:28

I love the ones like reaching ones or like where they'll be, like reaching up the wall and then it's just from behind and so you get just like that curve of the body. But then also I love silhouettes, like, if you can do, my studio has really big windows with white curtains so I'll pose them like hiding halfway behind the curtain or right in front of the window and it's just when you can get like that outline, it's really pretty.

Speaker 1:
23:01

Awesome, I love it Are we all traveling to Washington for our boot bar. I love it, I keep I know Come visit.

Speaker 3:
23:11

Or the next time she does a Vegas stint, she'll text me and be like I'm in Vegas and doing a shoot. Oh, I wish I could see you.

Speaker 2:
23:19

Yeah, she travels for shoots too, so it's awesome we just started doing those women's retreats too, Like you were talking about in 2022, that was the first one that I did and we went to Hawaii and we had like a self love coach, confidence boosting coach that would do workshops for us and we had we went to a luau, did some fun group things, but then they also did boot bar shoots out on the beach and at the house. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 1:
23:53

It's pretty fun. So it's all about self confidence and like really working in that during those retreats. Yeah, for sure, oh man.

Speaker 3:
24:04

Self love, self acceptance, loving our beautiful shells that we're in as we are.

Speaker 2:
24:09

Yeah.

Speaker 4:
24:10

So what do you think are some of the common misconceptions with regards to Boudoir photography?

Speaker 2:
24:17

The biggest ones are just that my body's not where I want it to be right now, or I'm too old for that, or I don't have anyone to give those photos to. Yes, you do, give them to yourself, give yourself the experience. Yeah, you don't have to be in a relationship or anything, it's just about the relationship with yourself really.

Speaker 3:
24:40

I love it. So is there anything you want to leave with our listeners as far as encouraging them maybe to check out a Boudoir session, or even in their day-to-day with just loving themselves? Yeah, is there anything you want to leave with our listeners? I?

Speaker 2:
24:56

think that if it's something you're thinking about doing, then you definitely should Make sure you find a photographer who's a exclusive Boudoir photographer, because then they've been working in that genre and know how to pose you, how to do the light, how to make you feel confident and comfortable. So that's probably one of the biggest things I would say but just yeah, if you're thinking about it, just take the leap. You won't regret it, oh man.

Speaker 3:
25:24

And if you want, go ahead and plug your information, your website, the best way to get in contact with you in case they want to reach out, okay.

Speaker 2:
25:32

Yeah, my website is just photographybyampercarlcom, and then I'm pretty active on Facebook. That's also. I think that's photographybyampercarl as well, and then Instagram is Ambercarlphotography.

Speaker 1:
25:50

So and how do you find out about the retreats in the upcoming retreats?

Speaker 2:
25:54

There's information on my website that would probably be the best place to go. Okay, awesome.

Speaker 4:
26:01

Fantastic. Well, thank you, Amber. Yeah Well, thank you so much for joining us. Yes, Thanks Amber.

Speaker 1:
26:07

Yes, thank you, thanks for having me, thank you all for joining us on this episode of A Witchamistic and a Feminist. Please visit our website, wmfpodcom, for all the latest episodes and to connect with us and then, wherever you listen to this podcast, please like and subscribe and we will see you next week.