Embracing Transformation: Tanon's Unfolding Journey Through the Gifts of Yoga

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Welcome to this episode of A Witch, A Mystic and A Feminist.

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We appreciate you tuning in for a special episode with a guest that is close to our hearts.

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She is a magical being.

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I think everyone that comes into contact with her agrees.

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Her name is Tannen and she I don't know.

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I was going to just start with like the background of how we met, but she loves yoga, she's our yogi and she came into Jamie and my life when we were drinking the CrossFit Kool-Aid.

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So we were working out together and she thought we all desperately needed which we did yoga, because CrossFitters don't always stretch and we're not all that flexible, and I feel like there was some resistance at first.

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People were like I don't know if I need this, I don't know, and then we all drank the yoga Kool-Aid.

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I feel like know, and then we all drink the yoga Kool-Aid, I feel like.

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So welcome to the show, Tannen.

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We are very excited to have you.

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Thank you, and so I was actually very interested how you discovered yoga how that started, so so appropriate for me.

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I discovered yoga when I was pretty young and I I have not shared this break.

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You guys get this little tidbit first.

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I've not shared this before because it makes me sound like a total weirdo.

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My very first introduction that I recollect to yoga I must have been like I don't know, like 10, something and I was watching a horror movie the Hand.

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It's a Michael Caine movie where a guy loses his hand and then gets reattached A hand from like a murder.

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Yes, you know shenanigans ensue.

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Here's what I remember from that movie.

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I remember the moment that his hand got taken off and I remember this like it might've been like 10, 20 seconds and he's trying to have a conversation with her.

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And I remember and I can see it might've been like 10, 20 seconds and he's trying to have a conversation with her and I remember and I can see it vividly in my mind.

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She's doing yoga and she gets up and she rolls up her rattan mat and sets it aside and they have an argument.

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But there was something about that that stuck with me that moment, like what is that what?

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Like I'd heard of it, but there was I don't know what.

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It was something very specific about that moment that stuck with me and made me curious.

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And then, I don't know, probably two or three years later, I was helping out at my grandma's church rummage sale and I found this book called 28 Days of Yoga and it was a little paperback book and you started on day one and you did one pose and then each day you added a pose.

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So at 28 days you have this collection of poses.

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So I snagged it and I would spend my summers in Ashland with my dad and my grandparents and I spent the summer doing that the full.

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I mean, there were a lot of things I couldn't do because I was a kid and I'm not flexible, but that really just sort of planted the seed.

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And then you know, you're a kid and I'm a typical teenager going through some shitty stuff at home, and so did I stick with it consistently?

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No, but it had sort of been a part of my life Always.

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In my 20s my gym started offering it, so I took advantage of that and then I fell away from it a tiny bit.

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I would do a little bit at home.

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And then in my thirties, again my gym started offering it and then I started to jump.

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That's when I started doing it much more consistently.

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And then we moved by.

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We were living in Sacramento and my husband was working for Les Schwab and they closed his store and it was this massive like oh my God, what are we going to do?

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Like earth shattering, shaking, scary.

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We didn't know what the future was going to look like.

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We didn't know if he was still going to have a job.

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And every time something like that happens, something big happens, I always think like okay, it's time, first of all, to breathe.

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It's time to take stock.

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Something needs to shift here.

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Something isn't working.

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This is an opportunity to embrace something bigger.

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So I started thinking about like what does that mean for me?

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What am I learning?

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What am I taking from this?

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And we ended up moving to Washington.

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And then again the gym.

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It's always the gym.

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The gym that I was at was building a yoga program there and it wasn't.

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Like.

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You know, typically, when you go to a gym and you do yoga at a gym there, it's not the same thing as going to a studio.

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You get gym yoga, which there's nothing wrong with that, but they're um, they're a little bit more restricted in what they can offer and what they can talk about.

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You know, they usually don't want anything that is too woo woo.

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They don't want you going upside down for safety reasons.

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I get it, but this gym was building a yoga program.

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They had a completely separate room.

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It was everything that I needed at that time, and then the universe, as it does, always provides.

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I had thought about maybe this is what I want to do, maybe I want to teach this.

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There was a moment in Sacramento where I had been taking a class, like a college class with a gal who was doing a teacher training and I was her guinea pig for a little bit, and it was right around that time.

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So when we moved I thought, maybe this is it, maybe this is what I need to do.

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And I am a fear ruled person.

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I overthink everything.

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Fear runs my life.

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I'm working really hard on letting that happen, but it took me a long time to take the steps and finally the gal running the program was like hey, we need teachers.

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I think you should do this.

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I'm like, okay, fine, fine, fine, fine.

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So I did a little tiny training that was laughable, I didn't learn anything.

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And then I did a better training and then she just kind of was like, okay, here you go.

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It was the best thing that could have happened to me at the time.

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It has informed how I move forward in my life and given me this gift that I get to share with my students.

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I'm kind of quiet with the people around me, a little bit Like I'll, like they know that I do yoga but don't share like the deep parts of it, cause I just assume who wants to hear that?

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I don't really want to have someone preach to me, so I tend to be a little bit more reserved.

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But if you ask me, I'm going to tell you everything I could tell you.

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So to get to share, that is just such a gift.

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And having done I during COVID, I know COVID was awful for a lot of people, but for me it was a blessing Because I found my teacher that I work with now and I've been working on my 500 hours.

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And holy cow, when people ask me like what's that like?

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And holy cow, when people ask me like what's that like I will say she through her she's not like I don't have her on a pedestal or anything, she's not like it's not a cult, but through her teachings.

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I will always say it broke me open in the best way possible and now I'm learning to build that back up the way that I want it to be.

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So I'm not this like scared little mouse anymore.

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So what are?

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So you mentioned the deeper parts of yoga, and we're here to ask you about the deeper parts of yoga because, you know, we talk a lot about modalities, different modalities, right, mystical, witchy modalities, but we haven't yet talked about yoga.

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So, and I know there's so much to it besides just going to a class and doing the poses, and you know so.

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So let's go, let's go.

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Yeah, so everybody knows asana right.

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The asana is the physical practice that we do, where you show up to class and you do your downward facing dog, you do your sun salutations, and that is great, and if that's all that anybody needs, wonderful that is.

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You know, we consider it sort of dipping the toe and if that's the thing that hooks someone in, great.

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Eventually they're ready for other things.

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But what really speaks to me is the entirety of the practice.

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We have eight limbs in yoga and asana is only the third limb.

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I wrote notes because if I get nervous my fight or flight is to freeze.

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so I'm reading out the notes, but I actually know this.

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Um, we have the yamas and niyamas.

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The yamas are a set of principles that we use to sort of interact with the world, like Don't be a jerk, don't hurt people, be honest without causing harm, be tidy, don't hold on to things, yeah, and don't steal stuff, yeah.

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Like, just be a good human right, yeah.

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Good human stuff, yeah, that's good.

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Yeah, adult when you're surrounded by people who want you to participate in their faith.

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I remember from the moment that I was a child and I would hear talk.

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You know, we grew up in the eighties when the AIDS thing was going on it's still going on and there was all of.

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It was sort of the first time that people were openly talking about gay and lesbian and what that meant, and I remember hearing my friends talk about how disgusting it was.

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And I'm sitting in this little tiny town thinking I don't think I'm that bothered by that, but at the same time they're talking about you know, follow God and honor God.

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And I'm like I don't understand how you can believe in the God that I was taught about and hate these people over here.

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It never connected with me and I think most people are always looking for something to connect to, and religion was just not doing it for me.

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There was too much hypocrisy and too much hate and I couldn't connect to something like that.

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So I think that you human beings need a higher connection and we're always looking for that, and this is it for me.

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It's not a religion, but this is how I connect to higher power.

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So you have the yamas.

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The niyamas are sort of how you interact with yourself.

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So be clean, be content, because happiness is a thing that is a waste of time chasing.

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Happiness is fleeting.

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Contentment can be forever.

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You know we're, we can't be happy all the time.

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Contentment is the goal.

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Um brahmacharya, which is uh, no, that was the first one, I'm reading them wrong.

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Tapas, which is self-discipline, is something that I need to work on.

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Um, allowing yourself to get a little uncomfortable in order to learn and grow, sticking to something and letting it suck a little bit so that it can get better.

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And then self-study, which I think as human beings, we need to continuously be learning things, that idea of like well, it was like this, why is it like this now?

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Well, because we evolve, we need to be constantly learning.

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And then Ishwara Pranayadana, which is a surrender to whatever your higher power is or, you know, embracing the context of what that might mean for you asana, which is the third limb.

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The fourth limb is pranayama, which is our breath work.

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We know that anytime we get stressed out, we start to breathe a little more shallowly.

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And breath work I'm just now starting to really start to study and dive into.

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And there is, oh my gosh, there's so much to know about that.

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And I know.

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I am really excited about getting a little bit more comfortable with that.

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You know, I think of this every time I see my dog like he wants to play and I'm asking him to be calm.

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You know, if you have a pet, you see them do that big yawn and that's pranayama.

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That's like regulating their.

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They already know how to regulate their nervous system.

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We have to relearn how to regulate our nervous system and we do that with our breath work.

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And then we have pratyahara withdrawal of the senses.

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It starts to get a little bit more esoteric and they kind of work together a little bit more as we go.

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And then dharana, which is concentration, and then dhyana, which is meditation, and then, if we work all of those things together, eventually we get to the state of Samadhi, which is where we're connected, we are existing as though well, as close to God-like as possible, god as in.

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You know whatever that means for an individual.

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It takes a really, really, really long time for any individual, if ever, ever, to get to that state.

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All of this is meant to be something that you consistently were in your day to day.

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You know it doesn't have to be perfect all the time.

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It is rarely perfect for me.

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I'm actually in the middle of a depressive episode right now, so I utilize these tools to help keep me from getting really ugly and really helps me get out of bed yeah, keeps me floating.

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Does it prevent me from slipping into those episodes?

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Absolutely not.

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Clearly, I'm in a depressive episode in spite of all these tools for human beings and we're enjoying this existence.

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These are the tools that I use to help manage that and therapy.

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And then when I met my teacher online.

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So we have this book that we yogi study, called the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali, and it's a book full of little snippets of really beautiful information.

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They're short and concise.

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You treat them like mantras.

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I use it often kind of like an oracle.

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I'll pop it open.

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What's the world got, what's happening for me today and you know, just like your or deck or your tarot deck, for me it works, but I also study it as well.

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It gives you.

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I refer to it as like the oldest self-help book ever.

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You know it talks about all of these eight limbs come from the sutra.

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Yeah, when I I found my teacher online and in five minutes I was hooked.

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She spent the first five minutes talking about how to arrange your feet and started talking about the sutra.

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I'm like, oh, this is what I'm here for.

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This is the stuff that I wanted to learn about anatomy and alignment, and then the really getting to know yourself.

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That's the chef's kiss for me.

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So I participate in a mentorship online with her.

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Her name is Bhavani Maki.

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Anyone can look her up.

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She's yoga kawaii.

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We go through the sutra and she shares what she knows about it.

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But I really, I really take that that's the stuff that really is my medicine that I reach to If I'm struggling with something, with how I'm interacting with something or someone.

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That is usually the place that I go.

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So I'll just share with you the second sutra for me.

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Often people ask, like, what is yoga?

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Yoga is the restraint of the modifications of the mind, stuff.

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So yoga is not about how beautiful your handstand is or can you get into a bridge pose, or can you balance on your arms in a crazy dragon flow, fly pose or flying pigeon.

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Yoga is about learning how to manage the stuff up here so you are not spewing your toxic filth all over the world, and so you can get to that state of contentment.

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And within the sutra, he then offers sutra on how to actually how to do it, like if someone is telling you a story, is it really about you or is it about them?

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Or if, again, if someone's telling you a story, are they an authority?

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You know little snippets on little snippets on how to navigate your responses to things.

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So that thing that we all do when we're in a room with a bunch of like we're at a party, and we see the two people over there and they're whispering to each other and you're like, oh my God, they're talking about me.

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So within the suture he's got little things like hey, is that right knowledge?

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Do you know?

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Do you know that they're talking about you?

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So little things that I can question myself like I don't really know, I'm not there, I'm not listening to that conversation.

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Even if they're looking at me, I have zero evidence that they're actually talking about me.

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Or you know, with the not to get political, but with the COVID thing, you know, everybody had their opinions about how to manage that Right, and people were like, nope, this is the way, or that is the way, x is the way, uh, so-and-so doesn't know what they're talking about.

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This person doesn't know what they're talking about.

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I think that we all have a right to decide for ourselves and from studying the sutra and understanding myself, I will always say that who are we to be an authority?

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And we can ask questions and we can check.

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Does that person have the right knowledge?

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Is that person making up what they want to believe about it?

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Do we have all of the evidence?

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So it's a way to sort of self-navigate our responses to things Again, so that you're just so, you're not, yeah, and projecting on everybody else.

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This world is.

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It's a bunch of blah being thrown at us all the time, and so you don't really know what to believe.

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So that's beautiful.

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Yeah, it's an awareness practice, like a self-awareness practice, right, like yes, and there's a lot of people that lack self-awareness in the world too.

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So, um, yeah, I can see how that would be amazing if they all prescribed to yoga yoga principles, right?

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Well, let me think I get often, isn't that worshiping a false God?

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The amount of times that I've had somebody send me this link that yoga is unchristian and that they're worshiping false gods, I'm like it's not what's happening.

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We're not.

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There might be an ancient connection to Hinduism, but that is not what's happening.

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It's not a Bible.

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The sutra is not a Bible.

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The new Upanishads are not a Bible.

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The Bhagavad Gita is not a Bible.

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It's a collection of lessons and stories.

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The sutra specifically, I think, can easily work with anyone's faith.

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I think and now, I'm not really a Christian and so anything that I know about Christianity or the Bible I learned from my grandmother.

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She's one of those rare people that really walked the talk and didn't preach, but you knew that she was a person of faith based on her actions, and the stories that she would tell me were beautiful.

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You know, there was a story that she used to tell often about how Jesus was supposed to meet these important people and instead he spent his time with like children and beggars, and when he finally met up with them, they're like what are you doing?

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He's like hey, they need me.

00:18:22.226 --> 00:18:22.987
You don't.

00:18:22.987 --> 00:18:24.709
You have money To me.

00:18:24.709 --> 00:18:26.589
That's what Christianity is.

00:18:26.589 --> 00:18:28.112
That's what I was taught it was.

00:18:28.491 --> 00:18:29.874
Again, I wasn't seeing it.

00:18:29.874 --> 00:18:37.941
And then you hear people talk about how you should behave based on the Bible, and then you don't see that reflected.

00:18:37.941 --> 00:18:43.644
I feel like I rarely.

00:18:43.644 --> 00:18:54.655
Now I have some really beautiful friends who have faith and they exemplify it lovely, but I feel like often what they say is not what they do, and I don't think that they're trying to be hypocritical.

00:18:55.125 --> 00:19:05.175
I don't know what's going on and maybe it's just the way that I'm seeing it, but I think that the sutra gives you a guidebook on how to maybe be more Christian-like.

00:19:05.175 --> 00:19:07.548
I mean, if you just look at the yamas like nonviolence, that's pretty.

00:19:07.548 --> 00:19:09.471
Look at the Yama's like nonviolence that's pretty.

00:19:09.471 --> 00:19:11.394
You know that's a pretty great thing.

00:19:11.394 --> 00:19:12.856
And it can mean a lot of different things.

00:19:12.856 --> 00:19:14.740
It can mean, you know, don't hit people.

00:19:14.740 --> 00:19:18.825
But also, do you really need to honk and flip somebody off when they cut you off?

00:19:18.825 --> 00:19:25.674
You don't know, someone might've died, like they might be rushing to get their baby to the hospital, or we just don't know.

00:19:25.674 --> 00:19:31.536
And just because it impacts us in that moment doesn't mean it actually has anything to do with us, right.

00:19:32.097 --> 00:19:36.385
Yeah, I think the way you put it, Tana, and it's a good self-check right, it's a good.

00:19:36.385 --> 00:19:49.666
They're good tools to kind of self-check ourselves and how we interact with the world around us, and I think you're right with that.

00:19:49.666 --> 00:20:04.373
It can complement a religion, a practice, because it helps self-regulate ourselves and in practicing what we put out to the world, how we project to the world and what we take in as well, because that's toxic too.

00:20:04.373 --> 00:20:07.959
If we allow the world to just, you know, we absorb everything.

00:20:07.959 --> 00:20:10.825
That's not good for us as individuals.

00:20:10.825 --> 00:20:13.940
So I think, like you said, it's a good self-check.

00:20:13.940 --> 00:20:19.702
They are good tools to help us be better humans and interact with each other.

00:20:19.702 --> 00:20:23.140
So I like that sentiment and care for ourselves.

00:20:23.520 --> 00:20:34.894
Yeah, you know, just with that breathwork alone, if everybody learned how to like take five minutes and regulate their nervous system by taking a few deep breaths before you react to things, it would be a kinder place.

00:20:35.211 --> 00:20:46.083
I find myself doing that as well, like during tough situations, because I do recognize that like I start getting tight and so, you know, start regulating my breath to be able to calm down.

00:20:46.083 --> 00:20:58.118
And so when I'm like holding my breath or really tense, that's when I just start doing, and I've had to do that in like meetings, at work, and I'm like please don't let them hear me breathing like this.

00:21:00.510 --> 00:21:06.323
I have appreciated that even in schools now they're starting to bring in yoga lessons.

00:21:06.323 --> 00:21:14.099
I remember my daughter in it wasn't this year, so it might've been fifth grade, maybe a year ago or so she came home one day.

00:21:14.099 --> 00:21:16.372
She's like, oh, mom and PE, we did yoga today.

00:21:16.372 --> 00:21:18.999
I was like you did yoga, what is that?

00:21:18.999 --> 00:21:20.000
What'd you do?

00:21:20.000 --> 00:21:26.721
And she's like, oh, they taught us how to, like you know, take three deep breaths and really just kind of slow it down.

00:21:26.721 --> 00:21:43.991
And then we did some stretches and I was like really impressed with that because I think, especially with our youth nowadays, like they need these practices to slow things down for a second and center, and so I wish it was more of a regular thing.

00:21:43.991 --> 00:21:50.036
I think they did it for, like you know, they change topics every week, so it was like a week of yoga and then it was like you know next thing.

00:21:50.036 --> 00:21:52.383
But I thought it was fantastic.

00:21:52.383 --> 00:21:58.752
And she went to summer camp and they did it in summer camp too and I was like, okay, yeah, I love that.

00:21:59.034 --> 00:22:03.030
I mean young girls especially yeah.

00:22:03.211 --> 00:22:06.795
We're going through it, tannen, we are going through it.

00:22:06.795 --> 00:22:12.502
It's right there, yeah, so we're working on all of that, yeah.

00:22:12.762 --> 00:22:14.724
Good luck with that.

00:22:14.724 --> 00:22:15.526
It's a journey.

00:22:15.526 --> 00:22:19.641
Yeah, I grew up in a house of all girls, no bueno.

00:22:21.731 --> 00:22:26.295
And it's crazy because you don't want to sound stereotypical, but it is harder for girls.

00:22:26.295 --> 00:22:36.071
It really like I seen what our son has gone through and where he's at now and I see where she's at and I'm like, oh hey, like this is it's intense.

00:22:36.071 --> 00:22:47.662
It's intense and I know, you know, lane has been through it and it's um, she's like I promise you you'll come out on the other end I'm like I know, but right now it's not okay, not okay.

00:22:48.743 --> 00:22:53.060
Yeah, I do appreciate everything you just talked about.

00:22:53.060 --> 00:23:01.759
I think for me and one of my questions was going to be, how do you get a beginner to really kind of test the waters?

00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:05.018
Because I'll be very honest, I'm still not a yogi yoga.

00:23:05.018 --> 00:23:09.882
I don't even have the why, the yo, the ga, nothing Like it's just not.

00:23:09.882 --> 00:23:17.010
It has never been.

00:23:17.010 --> 00:23:17.755
It's never been like something.

00:23:17.755 --> 00:23:21.631
I've been even in CrossFit, when you were starting to do the class, I think I went to a couple and for me it's like I can't do this pose, I don't want to do it.

00:23:21.631 --> 00:23:30.270
Like you know I, it's more of the physical act than it is the all the other stuff, all the other great yeah stuff.

00:23:30.270 --> 00:23:30.813
That's a part of it.

00:23:30.813 --> 00:23:37.715
So if I you know, hey, yoga, let's talk about this again you know, like what would be a good starting point for someone who really doesn't know?

00:23:37.777 --> 00:23:50.769
Well, knowing you and having listened to the so my brain likes to do things in order I have listened to a handful of your first ones, but I do them in order and I have an order that I listen to all my podcasts, so I'm way behind.

00:23:50.910 --> 00:23:56.423
But the meditation episode that you guys did, I think you have to find the thing that works for you.

00:23:56.423 --> 00:24:03.396
Asana is usually where people start in the physical practice, right, because they're looking for that workout.

00:24:03.396 --> 00:24:09.722
I think most Americans, or most Western cultures, start yoga for the physical aspects of it, right?

00:24:09.722 --> 00:24:11.215
I don't think that applies to you.

00:24:11.215 --> 00:24:13.237
Right, you get your physical elsewhere.

00:24:13.237 --> 00:24:15.438
I don't think that you need it for the physical aspect.

00:24:15.438 --> 00:24:22.980
Could you use it for recovery of the other things, certainly, but I think the hook for you would be in the meditation and the breath work.

00:24:22.980 --> 00:24:25.759
And I know, listen, meditation is super hard for me.

00:24:25.759 --> 00:24:34.357
I laughed all the way through your guys' meditation Because all of the things that I experienced- Meditation is actually really, really hard for me.

00:24:35.192 --> 00:24:44.477
I find it more in movement and when we were doing CrossFit people would ask me especially my yoga friends would ask me, like really, why CrossFit?

00:24:44.477 --> 00:24:51.750
And then vice versa, right, why CrossFit, crossfit.

00:24:51.750 --> 00:24:52.772
And then vice versa, right, yeah, crossfit.

00:24:52.772 --> 00:24:58.270
Like, honestly for me I got more meditation out of CrossFit than I tend to do out of my yoga practice because I had all of this stuff.

00:24:58.270 --> 00:25:00.556
I am not so I know you can't really see me.

00:25:00.556 --> 00:25:01.578
I'm a bigger girl.

00:25:01.578 --> 00:25:02.800
I'm a bigger girl.

00:25:02.800 --> 00:25:03.951
I'm not flexible.

00:25:03.951 --> 00:25:15.278
When I started doing yoga as an adult I couldn't touch my toes and it took me probably close to 15 years before I actually could touch my toes of consistent yoga.

00:25:15.278 --> 00:25:22.330
So I have heard other yogis say that they're not flexible and I just kind of chuckle like, but were you the tin man when you started?

00:25:22.371 --> 00:25:32.184
Because I was the tin man when I started, and there are a lot of poses that either I cannot yet do or I sometimes I can do them.

00:25:32.184 --> 00:25:37.058
Most of the time they're really, really hard and if I don't work it consistently I lose it.

00:25:37.058 --> 00:25:45.349
So I always had this sort of internal struggle of like I'm not good enough, so why am I trying to do this pose?

00:25:45.349 --> 00:25:47.955
I'm never going to get it, Like I get what you're saying.

00:25:47.955 --> 00:25:50.336
That's where that tapas comes in.

00:25:50.336 --> 00:25:53.526
If we don't work it, we will never get it.

00:25:53.526 --> 00:25:58.538
But if you hate it when you're doing it, why would you continue to work it Right?

00:25:58.538 --> 00:26:02.432
So I think the hook for you would not be the physical.

00:26:02.432 --> 00:26:06.242
The hook would be more in the meditation or the breath work and listen.

00:26:06.242 --> 00:26:12.744
If I could hand out a book of the sutra to the entire world, like people hand out Bibles, I would do that.

00:26:12.744 --> 00:26:13.729
I haven't won the lottery yet.

00:26:13.888 --> 00:26:16.755
So when that happens, then I'll do that.

00:26:16.815 --> 00:26:38.644
But you know, just working on that meditation, working on the breath work, and the most obvious breath work is the Ujjayi breath, which is just inhale through your nose and exhale through your nose and you sort of you know, when you jump into water and you're not holding your nose, you sort of seal off the back of your throat.

00:26:38.644 --> 00:26:41.076
That is a really great place to start.

00:26:41.076 --> 00:26:48.319
It's the first breath that usually gets taught in a class and there's a ton of different breathwork to do.

00:26:48.319 --> 00:26:54.803
That one is always my go-to If I'm getting into my chitta vritti, into my monkey mind.

00:26:54.803 --> 00:26:56.851
The ujjayi breath is the thing that calms me down.

00:26:56.851 --> 00:26:58.777
And the best test is at the dentist's office.

00:26:58.777 --> 00:27:00.711
We can breathe through the dentist's office.

00:27:02.874 --> 00:27:04.416
I love it.

00:27:05.057 --> 00:27:13.558
Tannen, I just want to say that I really appreciate everything that you put out into the world, into what you did for us at CrossFit.

00:27:13.558 --> 00:27:23.463
Your energy is just always very calming and open and what you bring and put out to this universe, to other people.

00:27:23.463 --> 00:27:33.744
I just I'm so grateful for you and this message and sharing your practice, because I am one of those people that I think really has a misinterpretation of yoga.

00:27:33.744 --> 00:27:52.834
I know there's all the other good, great stuff behind it, but for me it's always been that physical aspect and that's where I was introduced to it, honestly, was at CrossFit and it was like you do this to recover CrossFit and it was like you do this to recover.

00:27:52.834 --> 00:27:55.218
I appreciate that there's so much more to it that I think more people need to understand.

00:27:55.218 --> 00:28:09.520
So I just want to thank you so much for what you do, your practice and just your calming energy that you bring every time I meet my magical unicorn, because she was referred to as our unicorn at CrossFit.

00:28:09.520 --> 00:28:12.577
So I just thank you very much for all of that.

00:28:12.597 --> 00:28:14.089
You want to hear something funny, is?

00:28:14.089 --> 00:28:16.179
I wish I felt that about myself.

00:28:17.872 --> 00:28:21.521
Oh, that's why I wanted to make sure you heard it, because I know you don't.

00:28:21.521 --> 00:28:24.626
You don't appreciate the value that you put out into the world.

00:28:24.646 --> 00:28:26.478
I think most people don't Just know that it's appreciated.

00:28:26.478 --> 00:28:27.535
I don't think I'm alone in that.

00:28:27.535 --> 00:28:34.273
I think most into the world Just know that it's appreciated.

00:28:34.294 --> 00:28:35.115
I don't think I'm alone in that.

00:28:35.115 --> 00:28:36.538
I think most of the world doesn't recognize that.

00:28:36.538 --> 00:28:38.082
Yeah, please tell me more wonderful things about myself.

00:28:38.082 --> 00:28:38.742
Um, good Cause.

00:28:38.824 --> 00:28:39.464
I was going to um.

00:28:39.464 --> 00:28:40.326
We all need it.

00:28:40.346 --> 00:28:41.107
We all need it.

00:28:41.107 --> 00:28:48.401
Um, I was just going to add to that by saying that you, the way that you practice and teach yoga is so approachable.

00:28:48.401 --> 00:29:04.721
And so, having taken a couple of your classes, I have just like kind of like Jamie, like, oh, I can't do that pose, but you, you always are like, if you can't do that pose, you can do this pose and this pose and this pose, and you just totally break it down to make it very beginner friendly, very just like.

00:29:04.721 --> 00:29:11.221
Or if you're tight, it's the end of the week and you're just so stressed out and you just can't do that today, then don't do it, do this instead.

00:29:11.663 --> 00:29:24.741
And so it's just such an approachable practice, the way that you teach it, and I don't ever leave feeling bad that I couldn't do one of the poses or that I had to honor my body, and you know kind of relax a little bit.

00:29:24.741 --> 00:29:31.999
You know like I I leave feeling like I did something good for myself and you know and it's okay.

00:29:31.999 --> 00:29:48.192
Um, so I appreciate that about you and just you are so very honest with your experience and you're never like I'm up here and you know like, and you guys have to get up there too, I have all my Y O G A badges and you know everyone else has to earn them there.

00:29:48.192 --> 00:29:48.983
It's never like that.

00:29:48.983 --> 00:29:51.055
So I just want to say I really appreciate that.

00:29:51.115 --> 00:29:52.478
Thank you, that's the goal.

00:29:52.478 --> 00:29:52.878
I mean.

00:29:52.878 --> 00:30:10.311
I just want everyone to feel good when they leave and, you know, hopefully they've learned something, whether it's something about their own experience or something about the practice, whether it's physical or whether it's more up here, when I first started teaching, there was a lot of.

00:30:10.311 --> 00:30:24.174
You know, the reason Melissa had to push me out of the nest a little bit is because, again, as a bigger gal and the training that I my very listen my very first training was hilarious, from this company called fit tour and it was like it was $20 to do.

00:30:24.174 --> 00:30:26.217
It was no what it was, it was like $200.

00:30:26.217 --> 00:30:27.578
But you get this coupon and you can do it for $20.

00:30:27.578 --> 00:30:28.580
And it was like it was $20 to do.

00:30:28.580 --> 00:30:32.806
It was no what it was, it was like $200, but you get this coupon and you can do it for $20.

00:30:32.806 --> 00:30:36.580
And it was like a quick little study and like a 20 minute test and I was done.

00:30:36.710 --> 00:30:37.875
I was like I didn't learn anything.

00:30:37.875 --> 00:30:39.857
What, what, how am I supposed to teach?

00:30:39.857 --> 00:30:49.990
I did another training before I taught after that, but there was a lot of that Like what right do I have to teach that?

00:30:49.990 --> 00:30:51.596
But there was a lot of that like what right do I have to teach?

00:30:51.596 --> 00:30:56.711
Because I don't look like what the world thinks a yoga teacher should and clearly I thought that a yoga teacher should look like that.

00:30:56.711 --> 00:31:00.326
At the time I didn't think a yoga teacher should look like me.

00:31:00.326 --> 00:31:04.855
Took me really long time to let go of that and I still occasionally struggle with it.

00:31:05.657 --> 00:31:22.296
But I had been teaching for about three months or so, trying to bolster myself up, trying to feel good about what I was offering still serious doubts and a gal walked into my class and it was her first time.

00:31:22.296 --> 00:31:25.772
I can't remember it was her first day at the gym, but it was her first time in the yoga class.

00:31:25.772 --> 00:31:29.902
She was very new to the gym and she was a bigger gal at the gym, but it was her first time in the yoga class.

00:31:29.902 --> 00:31:31.586
She was very new to the gym and she was a bigger gal at the time.

00:31:31.586 --> 00:31:33.069
She is no longer a bigger gal and I, whatever I said to her welcome.

00:31:33.069 --> 00:31:48.961
I don't even remember what I said, but she walked out and she thanked me and we you know we just had that student teacher relationship after I had moved from Washington and I came back for a visit and I did the you know the bat signal hey, I'm going to be in town, let's meet for dinner.

00:31:48.961 --> 00:31:49.823
Anybody who wants to meet?

00:31:49.823 --> 00:31:55.798
And so a couple of people came and she came and when we met she said I have to tell you, tannen, you changed my life.

00:31:55.798 --> 00:32:03.779
I was like what she said, you made me feel so accepted and so welcome.

00:32:04.160 --> 00:32:07.252
And it blew me away because that was never my goal.

00:32:07.252 --> 00:32:09.559
My goal was never to change somebody's life.

00:32:09.559 --> 00:32:21.962
My goal was to feel like I was contributing something to the world in that moment and it never occurred to me what that interaction with the students would look like.

00:32:21.962 --> 00:32:39.125
She blew me away and it was a really huge lesson that just because I may be unsure of what my skills are or what I'm offering or providing, that is not the reality for someone else.

00:32:39.125 --> 00:32:55.343
And that actually goes back to that sutra concept of like what is your right knowledge, just because it's my experience doesn't mean it's their experience and I cannot project my self-esteem on to somebody else.

00:32:55.343 --> 00:33:04.317
It was a huge lesson for me and helped me take a like okay, okay, this is okay, I'm doing okay, I'm reaching the right people.

00:33:04.890 --> 00:33:21.700
And just because I don't look like what an Instagram yogi should look like doesn't mean that there isn't value in what I have to offer, and most often the feedback that I get now is that idea that I'm approachable, and I suspect it comes from a couple of things.

00:33:21.700 --> 00:33:43.019
I suspect it part of it is my low self-esteem that I'm working on and I suspect that a lot of it is the body that I live in, this immobile, inflexible, cranky body that I live in, that through menopause, in spite of weight that I've lost, just wants to pack it back on.

00:33:43.019 --> 00:33:45.163
So you know, it's all.

00:33:45.163 --> 00:33:46.070
You know.

00:33:46.070 --> 00:33:49.260
Whatever I the weight, whatever I'm over that now.

00:33:49.260 --> 00:33:58.126
But it informs how I teach and I think it creates a safe space for people who look like me or people who feel like me.

00:33:58.126 --> 00:34:01.996
Yeah, and that's the goal is to just help people relax.

00:34:02.416 --> 00:34:03.440
That is so fantastic.

00:34:03.440 --> 00:34:04.402
You definitely do that.

00:34:04.402 --> 00:34:05.833
Thank you, Tannen.

00:34:05.833 --> 00:34:08.027
Thank you so much for joining us on the show.

00:34:08.027 --> 00:34:11.697
Thank you, we really appreciate it and for me it's such a pleasure to meet you.

00:34:11.697 --> 00:34:13.130
So thank you so much.

00:34:13.130 --> 00:34:14.637
It was nice to meet you, Marlena.

00:34:14.951 --> 00:34:22.581
I really like, really honestly, I've really enjoyed the podcast and even though I'm a weirdo and I listen to things in order, I love every single episode.

00:34:22.581 --> 00:34:30.563
Yay, it has been enjoyable and I've learned a lot from all of you through your experiences, so thank you so much for letting me be a tiny part of it.

00:34:30.682 --> 00:34:31.103
Thank you.

00:34:32.130 --> 00:34:36.137
Oh, thanks, tiana, and do you want to plug real quick where you're teaching?

00:34:36.298 --> 00:34:36.438
at.

00:34:36.438 --> 00:34:46.574
Yes, so I am teaching at Flow Yoga and Wellness in downtown Tracy and it's astonishing the amount of people who don't know what is happening in downtown Tracy.

00:34:46.574 --> 00:34:52.682
But we are right next to the press wine bar, on the corner of 10th and a, and we are upstairs.

00:34:52.682 --> 00:34:53.989
Don't go into the door downstairs.

00:34:53.989 --> 00:34:55.652
That will not work out well for you.

00:34:55.652 --> 00:35:00.342
Um, go upstairs.

00:35:00.342 --> 00:35:09.057
Yeah, um, you can look at the schedule online, flow yoga Tracy to see which classes that I teach we do offer.

00:35:09.219 --> 00:35:13.715
If you're afraid to like, you're not sure if you want to pay the drop in, we have a Sunday morning class.

00:35:13.715 --> 00:35:15.396
It's actually happening right now.

00:35:15.396 --> 00:35:19.041
I'm at the studio that is open to the community.

00:35:19.041 --> 00:35:21.409
Linda teaches that and Linda is wonderful.

00:35:21.409 --> 00:35:23.597
But anyone can reach out to me on Instagram.

00:35:23.597 --> 00:35:31.125
I'm at Tannenbaum on Instagram, so anyone can DM me if you have questions or if you like, feel comfortable because you've seen my face and you want to come to one of my classes.

00:35:31.125 --> 00:35:35.561
All the teachers are wonderful, but connect with me and I can direct you to the right class.

00:35:35.561 --> 00:35:37.014
So thank you, ladies.

00:35:37.255 --> 00:35:38.237
Thank you so much.

00:35:38.237 --> 00:35:43.050
It was amazing and thank you all for listening to this episode of A Witch, a Mystic and A Feminist.

00:35:43.050 --> 00:35:47.612
Go ahead and connect with us at WMF podcom and we will catch you next week.

00:35:47.612 --> 00:35:58.494
You.