Parenting Using Human Design with Aypril Porter

HumanDesign with Aypril Porter

Tuesday Mar 14, 2023  • 58:42

SPEAKERS

Aypril, Marlena, Christy, Jamie

Christy  

Welcome back to a witch, a mystic and a feminist. We have a very special guest with us today, Aypril Porter. April is a certified quantum Human Design Specialist, a certified life coach and the author of the book parenting the child, you have reimagining the parent child relationship through the lens of human design. Welcome, Aypril. Thank you for joining us.

Aypril  

Thanks for having me. Yeah,

Jamie  

this is exciting.

Christy  

It is exciting. And for me, it's exciting because I don't know what human design is. So I was hoping maybe you could kick us off with just like a general overview

Aypril  

of that. Yeah, human design is, it's an interesting thing. So it's actually a blend of several different ancient and modern wisdoms. It's a, it's a synthesis of astrology, the eaching, the Kabbalah, quantum physics, and the chakra system. And it's not any one of them in their entirety. But it's, it's taken elements of each of them and overlaid them into this system that tells us more about the energy blueprint that we came here to experience in his lifetime.

Christy  

Okay, I like that.

Jamie  

Yeah, that's interesting.

Marlena  

And so I've had my human design chart read previously. And you know, there's different types or strategy types, generators, projectors, and then there's also profile types. What's the difference between the two?

Aypril

Yeah, so the bigger picture we look at initially is what is your energy type, it tells us more about how you interact with the world and your strategy is how you interact with the world. So an energy type is either a manifester, a generator or a manifesting generator, a projector or a reflector. And then each one of those have their own strategy for how they navigate the world. So for instance, the manifester needs to the initiate, but their strategy is to inform so before they take action, they need to inform the people that will be affected by what they're going to do. And part of that is for consideration of the other people, but really, it's about the manifester not being interrupted in their creative flow that they're in. So it's kind of a courtesy for everybody else. But it's, it's more about what they are needing so that they can proceed with this creative drive that they have without losing that flow. So if you've ever been in like, a creative inspiration, and then somebody knocks on the door and then you lose your train of thought, that's kind of what a manifester goes through and then they're, they're not self emotion is anger. So if they get interrupted in that process, you may see anger from them. Okay. Okay. I never angry because like, I'm really just mad at you. It's you interrupted my process.

Marlena  

Okay,

I get that. Yeah.

Christy  

I feel that myself.

Marlena  

So I understand that you pulled Christy's chart. So curious to see if Christie is a manifester as she's sitting here going, Oh, that makes sense.

Christy  

Well, I'm, I let's just say I felt that in my soul, and people in my household have felt that with the anger of being interrupted and in my creative process, but who knows? We'll see. April, you can fill us in.

Aypril

So actually your generator. Okay, but you do have a manifester child. 

Christy  

Okay. Oh, who's which? I'm going to I won't guess but you can tell me Go ahead. Paxton, my youngest one. Okay, so my oldest, obviously the only other option that is kind of mind blowing. That's a little bit well, actually. So he's autistic. And he, I guess I can kind of see that now. That he has a process and he gets it. Like if he gets interrupted. It's it's anger. Right. I just honestly thought that was the autism. Wow. Sorry. My mind is kind of

Marlena  

April. Tell us more. Sorry.

Aypril

Yeah. Well, we can talk more about that. Or I can go through the other types. What What feels more helpful. 

Marlena  

Let's go through the other types. And then we'll jump over into Christy's chart as well as her children's.

Aypril

Yeah. Okay. So the next type is the generator, and they are here as part of the workforce lifeforce energy of the planet. Their strategy is to wait for something to respond to. So this is something external to them. You may have as a generator, you may have lots of ideas that you think of, but Intel something shows up in your external reality to respond to it's not yours to really take action on yet. So this is is one of those places where we're told to just go out and do it just make things happen. But that's not really how most of us are really truly designed to work with our energy. Interesting 70% of the population is either a generator or a manifesting generator and the manifesting generator is a subtype of the generator. Okay. So you consider 70% of the population is not designed to just go out and make things happen until they have something to respond to. You can imagine how frustrated 70% of the planet is because that is their not self emotion frustration, right? Yeah. When things are not working, they are frustrated. Yeah, yes. Wow.

Marlena  

Generator, I can I can agree with that.

Christy  

Wow. Okay. Yeah. So then, obviously, the minority of a population of our population are the manifestors. 

Aypril 

Manifestors are about eight to 9% of the population. Okay, so not that much really very small. Yeah. And then we have the manifesting generator as they are a little their generator. So I don't want to confuse this. Sometimes manifesting generators hear the word manifesting in their in their energy type, and they think that they can manifest like a manifester. And it's not quite the same. So they still need to wait for something to show up in their external reality to respond to and then there's an extra step where they inform what they're going to do, they get a bonus with their not self emotion. So they have frustration, and anger, they get the the fun of both of them. See, both of you are or have a manifesting generator in your life. And they're designed to do lots of things at the same time. So they teach us where we can skip steps and processes because they go through and they figure out what we can, what we can eliminate in the steps. But to do that, it requires doing things and then going back and redoing them. And that can lead to some frustration. And sometimes that other emotion of anger, definitely very interesting. And then we have the projector so the projectors, about 20% of the population, and they're here to guide the energy of the planet. But they need an invitation to do so. Without an invitation. They come off as bossy. They sound like they're just telling people what to do. Right? Because they can see how things could be improved. They can see how everybody can be working together a little more efficiently. They have that 40,000 foot view, right? But unless somebody says hey, how can we improve this? When that projector starts telling people Oh, you could do this differently. It comes off as you're just telling me what to do.

Marlena  

So my child is a projector. And yes, I thought that they were they were just bossy.

Aypril

Yeah, and I'm also a projector and I have two projectors, children and my mom is a projector as well. Okay, so there can be and we have fifth line profiles, which we can talk about. But there's a lot of projection and a lot of bossiness.

Jamie  

Challenge household there with all these projectors saying this no, this is how you do it. Yeah, yes, we're all experts.

Aypril

So the the projectors lots of emotion is actually bitterness. So when we try and guide and we are met with resistance, we feel bitter, because we have something to share, and you are not listening to us, right. But once we learned that, we have to have the invitation once the invitation is there to share. And actually I want to clarify that the invitation is really to the big things in life. So it's relationships, marriage, where to live, what what to do for work, those kind of things. They needed a true invitation, which comes with recognition. So it's recognition of what the projector is capable of what they're good at, and then inviting them into either a relationship or a job or a place to live. Within that there are more subtleties. So the invitation to share is what we would commonly think of is, can you give me some advice? Or what do you know about this. So it's a little more subtle on that level. But if we try and share what we know without being asked, it doesn't go over well, and we feel better. Or if we over overdo it, and we use our energy in ways we're pushing with that energy where it's not flowing, we burn out and we feel better.

Jamie  

Wow, that sounds like my husband. Sounds like a projector.

Aypril

And then the last type is the reflector. So they're actually less than 1% of the population. And they are here to be the barometer of our world. They show us what is working what is not. And I think that sometimes that gets put on them as a responsibility. And it's, I don't believe it to be so I believe that their purpose in life is to learn to be adaptable to go into any environment and see what it's like to sample it without taking it on and to experience life to the fullest and learn more about everybody that's here. So they are here to find delight and surprise and feel joyful, but when they see And that humanity is not really living up to its expectations, it can feel deeply disappointing to the reflector.

Christy  

super fascinating. But you mentioned that you know, you are in a house with your kids or projectors, your projector. So kind of brings us to your book, which is about parenting, kind of through the lens of human design. So how is your parenting book different than all the other parenting books out there?

Aypril

So I think that a lot of parenting books, and I don't want to throw me under the bus, because I think there are a lot of fantastic approaches out there. But I want to say that I think that most parenting books come from an approach of this is what worked, this is what I did, this is what you should do, or this is what I found to be helpful, you should do it in these steps in this way. And I feel like human design gives us an opportunity to say, Every child is different, every parent is different, every single person on this planet is different, you can have two charts that look exactly the same. And twins, for example, but how they live their life and the conditioning fields that they experience will affect how they show up in the world. And so I think that when you look at an individual, rather than lumping them into just a group of children, or demographic and age group, we can look at what this child needs. And we can adapt our parenting strategies to that while taking into account our own needs through our lens of human design as well. So I think it's just a more personalized, tailored approach. And it's not, my book isn't telling you how to do it. It's telling you about the energy that's there and offering another viewpoint for you to see how you might see your child differently.

Christy  

That's fascinating. Yeah, and that was something I really appreciated, because it's been a bumpy road for me as a parent, parenting and first autistic child and learning that, and then parenting a very dynamic, friendly, outgoing creative child second, right, who is neurotypical, and then finding that I have a husband who's neurodivergent, as well. And so just, you know, really just kind of like, how do we manage all of these personalities? And how do we relate to one another? It's been and it's it's difficult, right? And I've just kind of been limping along. So when we booked Dr. When you decided to come on, I was super excited, because like, I know, next to nothing about this, but I do know that it's a different lens. And so I get excited for those lenses. Well,

Jamie  

I think that it just gives us another perspective on a deeper level versus, oh, my kid is he's just always angry too much online time. And therefore when I take it away, He's just mad and he gets frustrated too quick. It's just another level of at least this is how I'm interpreting it, why they may be reacting certain ways. It might just be how they are ingrained. And we need to find another a deeper level of understanding of why we are the way we are. And because I'm being really mean that day. I mean, it just, you know, it's just another level, because there are days you wonder, like, what is wrong with me. And as women, it's, it must be hormones, Oh, it must be pre menopausal. But it just could be I'm not functioning in the best energy of how I'm ingrained right now. And I need to figure out ways to do that. That's my,

Apryl  

I think you made a good point, too, is that we do have associations with certain emotions, too. So when we look at the not self emotions of every type, we've got anger, frustration, bitterness, disappointment. You know, those are things that were taught, oh, we shouldn't stay there, stay there very long. We shouldn't express those things. We need to hide those away or just find a way to be happy. But when we change the perspective on it, we look at it as this is a signal that telling me that something is not aligned in my life, or for me right now. And I have an opportunity to make a difference. It gives us a different perspective on why we feel that way and we don't just have to eradicate it or shove it away in a box because then we start pulling the U haul trailer have boxes of emotions that we haven't felt along with us later in life and it catches up with us.

Jamie  

We stuffed them away and then they creep up when we least expect and it's like damn, I thought I stuffed that away far enough what happened right it's like

Aypril

the jack in the box. Yeah, different boxes surprise.

Jamie  

And I'll be the first to say I'm guilty of that. And I think I when it comes to me, I'm the worst dealing with pain, frustration, anger, and it's actually been with our exploration here with our podcast and in our spiritual journeys that and I've had Marlena, tell me this so many times it's okay to sit in your emotions and be there. There's an opportunity here, not only to show your children, the vulnerability of yourself but to really be honest with what's going on.

Aypril

Yeah, and how many times have we said your kids? You're fine. Get up. It's okay. You know, and part doesn't hurt. We don't want to exacerbate the issue. Yeah. But But really, what would it be? Like if we just said, I'm sorry, that really hurts? Yeah. What do you need? Yeah, with that, stop it just as quickly. Yeah, maybe. Right, maybe. And they would feel heard and validated and, and wouldn't shy away from those emotions. But they wouldn't have to spend so much time showing them either, right?

Jamie  

Yeah, yeah, it's the whole, I want to just fix it for you. Let me fix this. Let's just move on. Let's get that let's go get some ice cream, let's go play game. Let's just move along. I don't want to see you sad anymore.

Christy  

So we can, if we want, we can circle back to my kids just because two kids raised by the same parents, and like we mentioned earlier, different charts. So which is completely normal? I'm guessing, because we're all unique. So I'm interested about my younger son Paxton. Yeah, who he is.

Aypril

He's a generator. Okay. He's a generator. So his aligned emotional responses satisfaction. And this is an interesting thing, when we talk about the aligned emotions. So satisfaction, we kind of have this idea that it's like this thing to reach for that once we get there, we will feel satisfaction. But satisfaction is really more, I describe it as more like, if you think about when you have eaten a meal, there's not too much, not too little, you just feel satisfied. There's kind of an absence of feeling in a way, it's, it's not like overstaffed. And it's not like I'm still looking for something, you're just content, it's a good place to be, but it feels very neutral, too. So sometimes I think we're searching for these bigger emotions and these bigger feelings. But really, when a generator is aligned, they just feel content. I like that.

Marlena  

I'm interested in what his profile types are.

Aypril

So his profiles are one three. So he's an investigator. I don't like this name, martyr. Martyr, I'm

Marlena  

not I'm not a fan of that one, either. But

Aypril

I'm not a fan of some of the names that came from traditional human design. But really, I think of the the third line is more of like the Explorer, the experimenter, because they're really here to try things and learn by doing

Christy  

totally aligns with him 100%. And then

Aypril 

the first line, the first line really needs to learn, it's like they're taking in more and more information, they may be the kid who's got a library card with 50 books checked out, because they're always looking for more information from an authority, somebody who really knows what they're talking about that they can trust, they may be asking teachers, a lot of things, they may be YouTubing, everything looking for somebody who knows everything about the subject that they want to learn. And so there can be a push pull between this profile, because you've got one side that's like, I need to know all the sources, I need to know before I can take action, what I need to do, or what it's going to be like, what I'm going to need, and then you've got the I just have to jump in and try it and see what happens. And so sometimes kids or people can get pulled into one side of that more than the other. And as parents, we can encourage them to try to embrace the other side a little bit more. So if they're just jumping into things, without really thinking it through maybe bringing in a little bit more of what can we research about this before we try so we have a better chance of success? And then if it doesn't work out, we know how to navigate that. And then the other side is, you know enough. Let's go ahead and just try it.

Christy  

Yeah, we've been dealing with that lately. Like, you know, enough. So let's try, and then he's hesitant to try because he doesn't want to fail. So he's got some. But that has been a huge thing in our household, like, you know, what, have you researched, you've done all that you've done all the legwork? You know what you want to do? So let's do it now. And so that's been a very big thing in our household for the past couple years.

Aypril

Yeah. And actually, both of your kids have a one three profile. Oh, interesting.

Marlena  

So with the profiles, is that normal to like, in a household to have the same profiles? Like I know, with the strategy types, generators, the majority of of the world are generators, but having the same profile type two children having the same profile type?

Aypril

Yes and no. I mean, the profiles change throughout the day. Because what happens is the conscious sun and the conscious Earth are where we find our profile numbers. It's the line level of the gate. So Sun transits these gates, gate transistors on every five ish days. Okay, so we'll have a gait stay that that same through that time, but then the profiles will go one through six through each of those. So it depends on where the birth time is in that cycle. It winds up that you have a whole family that are two fours or one threes or whatever. And, and some of the profiles tend to, they seem like they're a little more prominent. But really, it's, it's kind of just open to whenever you were born. What that looks like. So there's no like rules that you're gonna have parents that have this profile, and then you're going to have it it's not like that at all.

Christy  

Okay, do I have the same profile? Nope.

Aypril

You have a two four profiles. So yours is the hermit opportunist. Again, names that I don't love actually. I'm a hermit too. And I actually don't mind the hermit hermit as well. Like, that kind of feels appropriate. So I'm working in my basement, you know?

Marlena  

I'm a role model hermit. So.

Aypril

Okay, so six to Yes. Okay. So the second line is the hermit, the hermit is a is also the naturalist. So you inherently know things. Like you may not know how you know, but you just know things. You're observing the world around you. And then when you go back into your Hermitage, when you're like, Okay, I need a break time to just read a book and be by myself for a while. That's when you're integrating all that you've taken in from the world around you. And so you come out with this knowledge. That's like, I don't know where it came from. I just know things. Right? Yeah, just

Christy  

drink wine and no thing

Aypril

on this podcast, right? So it's through the conversations that you're having. You're learning from everything around you. But that time to yourself is really, really important. If you don't get the hermit time. It. It really everyone there's not an agreement to be paid for that. Right?

Christy  

Yeah, yeah, there is definitely.

Aypril

And then the fourth line, you know, it's traditionally called the opportunists, but it's really like a networker. It's somebody who is here to have their opportunities, come to them through the people that they know, or the people that know that they know. Yeah, so you may have found that your jobs have come to you through somebody suggesting that, oh, this person or this company is hiring, or you should be good for this. And then relationships can also come through that way. You may have a lot of people that you know, but your core of people that you really connect with is probably fairly small, with this profile. And then the other thing to this is that over time, you become really good at adapting to change. But initially, it can be difficult, because you want to know what's going to happen next, what's it going to be like? Who's going to be there? What do I need to bring? If you're considering leaving a job for the next job? It's like, I need to know that I have that job lined up before I let go with this one. Because I need that security to feel stable

Christy  

that checks all these boxes in my head. It's always been very curious to me that like I do I adapt to change really well, but I'm very resistant to it. So like how those two live in me. It's, I'm always like, How is this possible? Like i i Don't you know, when I changed jobs. It was nine years ago when I changed jobs. But I was so resistant to change. And it took me forever to make that decision. And then, but I adapt changes, like in life and with other people like just so well, like I'm just like, Yeah, sure. That's okay. I'm going along with it. Right. So so that's just inherently me. All right.

Marlena  

And I'm curious to know what her like define Center. For me. I'm a sacral. Center. So Christy and her children, their centers are

Aypril

Yeah, so that would so we have nine centers. But though the one that you're talking about is what we refer to the inner authority, it's how we make decisions. And so for Christy it is sacral authority. So it's that gut knowing but it's it's very auditory, there's a yes, no, aha, yep, nope, kind of sound that goes with it. So when you are connected to that, and this is the thing that happens is that children come into the world, and they are deeply connected to that and we conditioned them away from it. So we have a lot of adults that are walking around that have sacral authorities that do not understand them do not connect with them. And then they rely on the mind to make their decisions, which is not the correct way in Human Design at least. And I know that there'd be many people disputing that but human design shows us that our wisdom comes from within from our body, not from our mind, our mind is great for analyzing and strategizing and helping proceed once a decision has been made. But the actual decision for whether we are aligned and our energy and something that we want to do or connect with, really comes from our body's wisdom. And so yours is sacral and you will hear a noise come out of you when it is aligned for you. You may also find yourself nodding or shaking your head or backing away from things or leaning in closer. That sounds like maybe you resonate with that.

Christy  

Yeah, I I've been I've been trying to actually stop that. I don't know, because I'm like, is it too much? Because like, I'll nod or smile or like, and then I'm like, maybe it's annoying for other people, maybe I just need to, like, you know, just not do anything, you know, and just sit there. Yeah. So I was actually analyzing that a couple months ago. I don't know.

Aypril

And so the question with this authority is, do I have the energy for it? Is this what I want to use my energy for? Is this aligned with my energy? And the the question that seems to come up then is well, how's it going to affect so and so? Or if I say yes to this, so now we're in the mind, right? So the sacral only says yes or no, it doesn't say yes. And or Yes. But it just says yes or no. Okay, once you get the yes or no, then you can make the considerations for other people and decide how you want to approach that. But you first have to understand what your true yes or no is, trust your gut. Trust your gut. Yeah. And then your youngest also has a sacral authority, okay, because he's a generator, and then your oldest has a emotional authority. And this one's actually, I would say that there's kind of, almost to authorities with this, which is not technically true. But when we look at how he's going to operate, and making decisions, there is really another piece to this. So emotional authority means that he needs time to make a decision. Emotional authorities have an emotional way that they move through every day of their life, it may take months to go through that wave to feel the highs and the lows of it, it may happen several times in a day, it really is dependent on the type of wave that they have. And he actually has two in the same line. So what you're probably going to see with this child is a child who may be pretty even keel, emotionally, and then all of a sudden, you have a sudden spike up where everything is great and excited. And, and we want to do all the things and we're so happy, and then it comes right back down. And then there can be the lows that feel really, really low. And it's like, I don't want to do anything. This is junk, I don't want to participate, you know, it's kind of really low for a little bit, and then it will come back up again. And this is what we call the individual wave. And so with this, if you were making a decision, he would need to feel like the highs and the lows and then come back to that more neutral state before making a big decision to know that it's aligned for him. Okay. And because he also has a defined Wilson or as a manifester, that's going to play an important part. So you're going to hear things like I want, I don't want that kind of, like it's going to sound kind of like, me, me, me, me, me, I want it or I don't want it. And that's really his truth. That's how he's navigating like, what is under that and then waiting that out over time to see if it's still I want it or I don't want it.

Christy  

That is we've been hearing that a lot lately. And I I told him I'm like, I can't this terrible, but I'm like, every time you come at me, you want something like it's and he's you know, he's 11. So he's pretty self sufficient. But it's all like, I want to do this and I want to get that and I want to and I want to build this and I want a note. I'm like it's noise right now. Like I can't anymore, right? And so I actually told him like, I just need a pause. I like a day of not coming at me with Watson Watson Watson once. So, wow. Okay.

Aypril

So when we hear this from a manifester, it's there's a, there's something different behind it. It's not like when we have children who are just like, I want this, and I want that, and they want us to know what that and it's just like throwing stuff out there. Like there's more to it with the manifester with a defined wheel center. And so I would say that, paying attention to those things, and then checking back in on them later, because of that emotional wave is going to be really important. So maybe it's like, Well, why don't you write those things down? And let's check in next week and see how you feel about it.

Christy  

I love that. Yeah. There's a good way. Awesome. Yeah, that is good. Yeah. Wow.

Aypril

So that's the inner authority. And there's seven different possibilities here. The sacral authority and the emotional authority are the two most common. Okay, so most people are going to have those and then there's some, some others like spleen. That's the next, the next most common and that's more that instinctive, like, I just, I know. And it's, it kind of has a like a whisper of No, sometimes it shouts No, but it really doesn't say yes, clearly. It's more like the absence of no is the Yes. So think of this, it's more instinctual. If you think of like an animal like a cat, perhaps, and how they will stalk prey, right? And then if they sense something, because they're always sensing around them, this is what the splenic authority does. It's always sensing around them to see what's the threat, what is coming at me, what is safe, what is not safe. So there's like instincts immune system, that kind of energy in this, this energy center and so when when the are considering something it's kind of filtering through the moment. And is there a threat here? Or is it safe? Is it okay? Or is it not? Okay? Is it good for me? It's not good for me. And it changes moment to moment. So you may ask a child with a splenic authority, do you want to go have ice cream? And they may say yes. And then 20 minutes later, they say no, because something happened between that time, and now they don't feel like that's the right decision for them, which can seem really confusing on the surface for the parent, because it's like, I just thought ready, what are we doing? But something in their environment shifted? And so sometimes it's just playing detective around like, what's the thing that shifted? And is it something that can shift again? Yeah, and there's, there's a lot of little more obscure ones like self authority, mental. And this is weird. So one of them's called mental authority. It's also called an environmental authority, or no authority or outer authority, it depends on what chart system you're looking at, will say different things. But essentially, some of them are more like sounding boards, you need a sounding board to just talk about what your decision is, and you need some time to process it. And that can be a confusing one for people too, especially if a parent has like a sacral or a splenic authority, that's very quick and in the moment, and then you have a child who has a very slow moving authority, it can feel like chest back at a session.

Christy  

I can see that.

Aypril

And so it's learning to adapt to what they need, even when it's really difficult for you, because that's not your process.

Christy  

Yeah, okay. Well, I'm curious how human design has affected how you have parented your kids.

Aypril

It's affected a lot, I say, I wish I had known about it when my kids were like, born, I didn't find out about human design to my kids were, gosh, probably five and seven. And so it was still a great time to find, I think anytime you find out is a great time to find out and you can always use it.

Christy  

I feel like today is a great time to find out.

Aypril

But I have one child who has what we call a mental projector, which means that she only has two centers, the head and Aashna, the top two in the chart to find everything below that the centers are open. So there's so much openness in her chart that she takes in everybody's energy and all these centers. And it's been a process to help her understand like, what's hers and what's other people's, and how to not take all of that on. So she's emotionally undefined, which means she's taking in and amplifying the emotions around her. And learning to differentiate between what's mine and what's yours. What am I feeling versus what am I feeling from your feelings. And that's been a process. Well, my other child is also a projector. But she's in what we would call an energy projector. So she has some, some motor centers to find that create some energy. And she's emotionally defined. So she has a different process, she has an emotional wave. And so her emotional wave will get amplified in the other one. And then there can be emotions and all that projection and bossiness that we were talking about earlier, that can happen between them. And so it gave me a new perspective of how to support them. Right. So once I understood that the process emotions so differently than I could approach them differently, and give them what they need individually rather than thinking, well, these are sisters, they're two years apart. They're very similar. There are kids, you know, like, they should be pretty much the same in a lot of ways, right? I mean, I think that's a common thought is that especially when kids are close and age, that there are so many similarities, and that's not always the case.

Christy  

Definitely not always the case. Yeah,

Aypril

I would say rarely the case. Actually.

Christy  

I was gonna say, Graeme rarely, I don't know, maybe. But as a parent, like you said, it might be what you expect, right? Like that. They're going to be similar. They're going to have the same type of temperament, personality and being close in age, right? Like, Oh, yeah. How different could 

Aypril

I think I had that experience when my second child was born. But I didn't have the tools to understand how different they were. I just knew that this child was so different, like my first child. Let me say I was one of those people who said, my kids are not going to sleep in my bed with me, right? I like my bed. I like my sleep. And my oldest slept in our bed till she was five. She did not want to leave. She was comfortable right there. That was where she slept the best which means that's where I slept the best, right? Yeah. And then my, my second child, she did not want to spend a day in our bed. Like she would want to be. You would feed her you'd swaddle her, you'd put her in her crib and she'd be like, peace out. So you in the morning when I'm like, Oh, okay. Now I've adapted to this other way and you're showing me something's different. Okay? Okay, we'll do this and if like non human design, I'd have known that she has so much openness in her chart, she probably needed to just be in her own space away from a body away from another energy being where she could actually rest.

Marlena  

No, that's super interesting. I was looking at my my child's chart, and same thing with the emotional center and a projector and very openness. But my child's a young adult now. So how would your book and human design and parenting human design with an adult child like basically, how would that work? Is that something that I can use? Now?

Aypril  

Absolutely, you can use it at any age. So you can use it with your parents, you can use it with adult children, you can use it with young children, you can use it just to explore yourself, like there's so many ways that we can apply this, but it's not really going to be different with an adult child. Now, I don't think it's any different because we're not even with young kids, we're not trying to tell them, This is how it is we're just trying to encourage them to be who they are. And so it's the same thing with an adult. And maybe we could use different language that would support them and understanding how they make decisions better. But they don't have to actually be interested in human design. Like if you are interested in human design, you can look at their chart, and you can know they have an emotional authority, it's going to take them time to make decisions. So I can encourage them to sleep on it, to give it a little bit of time. And then ask them reflect with them later. How did that go? You waited to make that decision? Was it? Was it a good decision? Do you feel good about it? And you feel right? Because it's all about feeling with that emotional center? Like, what does this decision feel like? If you think of saying yes to it? What does it feel like if you say no to it, and then maybe sleep on it or give it a week or a month or whatever it is? The bigger the decision, the longer the wait mazing and I will say that generators and manifesting generators respond to yes no questions or this or that questions? Really well, you give them an open ended question and you're gonna get the blank slate or you're gonna get I don't know, just leave me alone. Where's, where's the open sacral. So the projector the reflector and the manifester need open ended questions so that they can talk and figure out what it is that they want or feel or need. I get that they need space and time.

Christy  

It's resonating with you Marlena.

Marlena  

It is because when I when you said you're a generator, right? I'm a generator, my child's a projector, my husband's a generator, and communicating with my child is very different than community communicating with my husband. And it makes more sense. The fact that they are a projector. So yes, this is all definitely resonating with me.

Aypril  

Yeah, and so when you and your spouse are generators, you have that sacral. Even if you have an emotional authority, you have a sacral like instant yes or no. While your projector, depending on what other centers, does she have a defined spleen? Do you know? Let me pull up her chart real quick, a triangle, the triangle on the left at the at the bottom? Yes. Okay. So she'll have an instinctive hit. But again, it's in the moment, it's going to be changing moment to moment. So combine that with needing time to wait out the emotional wave. So she may say, Yes, I want this right now. And then a day later, it's totally different. Or five minutes later, it feels different. So it's learning to wait out the wave and feel the yeses and noes and feel what's consistent. Very

Marlena  

interesting. Because yeah, they change their mind like like that. It's like, Wait, what happened? Whiplash, right?

Aypril

This blink can be really useful for things like I want tacos, or do I want pizza, right? Like, simple decisions that are in the moment that don't have big consequences. Because bigger consequence, decisions that we're making in life, even like buying a car or where to live, all of those things really need some time to think about it. Okay. So like, if I went to a store and I was buying supplements, my spleen would help me to find what is the right supplement, right? Because it's like, yes, no, as I'm looking at these things, is that instinctual safety like survival kind of response, but then if I'm going to decide to work there or not, it's going to take some time, and we're gonna have to wait through that emotional wave.

Marlena  

Okay, that's awesome. So what are the most common themes that you find? In Human Design parent coaching?

Aypril

I would say that the emotional dynamic is one of the things that we talk the most about whether families have open or defined emotional centers and those emotional waves versus the amplification of them. That's one of the biggest things that we talk about because Emotions are always so confusing, right? They always feel like they come out of the blue, we don't understand them, especially with kids who are going through waves and like amplifying stuff and going through puberty and all the other things that bring, you know, more stuff with it, it's really hard to get a handle on like, oh, my gosh, what is happening? Do I need to get this more attention does this is this something that's going to pass and so understanding your child's emotional waves or amplification gives you something to kind of anchor into to know what is probably more true for them most of the time, and then navigate the other things that come up along the way, I would say also, understanding the type and strategy so if you have a family full of generators and manifesting generators, and then you drop into man, a manifester, or a projector or reflector, that child is going to be very different than the rest of the family. And that can create a lot of conflict, because we don't understand why they don't just behave like the rest of them. And so that's one place where I see a lot of confusion. And so sharing with a parent, what that child is like, and how they're different from them, can provide so much clarity and then ease the tension that's there of why why is this child not doing what we think it should be doing? Right? Yeah, and allow them to just be themselves and then everybody feels better,

Christy  

right? This would have been really, really helpful for my family, when we were growing up, I feel like

Marlena  

all of our families, I know.

Aypril 

Knowing there's so many places that chart we can look at if a child has more logic or more knowing kind of energy in their chart. So that may play a part into how they're learning, we can look at do they have an open or a define g Center, which is about love direction, and identity. So a child with an open G center, like your youngest, and it's completely open, there's no gates to find on it is somebody who is here to adapt to the environment around them and try on different things. So they, they may have different friend groups that the find themselves in and then having different interests, or they may start dressing differently because their friends do. And it's not because they're copying them. And it's not because they don't know who they are. But they're here to try on all of these different identities in a sense, and see what it's like to be in that space. But they can also question like, their love ability, you know, and they're they're looking for, they can sometimes want to put themselves into an identity that's very fixed. And it's not really how they're designed. Because the world around them says, Well, who are you tell me who you are, name it, identify it. And that's not really right for them. And their direction is really open to so they may change directions a lot in life, they may kind of just to lots of different things like

Jamie  

a free spirit. Yeah, very free spirited. Very, very just try it all. Do it all. Yep.

Christy  

Yeah, I've already seen him, you know, kind of struggle with society telling him he needs to define it. Right. And he's not or he's 10. You know, so we have those conversations a lot that nothing needs to be defined, he doesn't have to have an answer, you know, doesn't have to fit into a box. But yeah, already at this age. Yeah.

Aypril  

And then because this is open, this is also deep. He's also deeply affected by his environment. So if the environment doesn't feel good, nothing will be right. Okay, right. So if you see emotional stuff from him, or you see a lack of focus, doing homework or things like that, it may be the environment. And it could be as simple as moving some furniture. So if you go into a child's room who has an open G center, and you rearrange everything, and they come home, and they're just unhappy, they need to move their furniture back, probably. Okay, so it's very sensitive. So Fung Shui is one of the things that's really beneficial to people with an open G center, because it has to feel good. If it doesn't feel good, it's not going to be good. You could walk into a restaurant that you've been into 100 times before, and there's different energy there, move the furniture a little bit, or there's just somebody new there, it doesn't feel good. It's going to be a disaster, right? Like, they're just going to complain the whole time, they're not going to have fun, which means you're not going to have fun. So it's it's learning to listen to those things in consider, like, what do you feel? Or would you like to sit in a different place, letting them pick the place that they sit at the table can be very important. Okay,

Marlena  

I find human design just truly amazing. And I've learned a lot about myself with my with my chart reading. What is it that really got you into human design?

Aypril

I saw a chart Yeah, I was working in nutrition at the time and I got an email that said that somebody was going to be coming in doing readings in our office one day and the next week or something and it was on human design. And at the time, I was like, What the heck is human design? Are we genetically modifying people now? What is happening? I'm not okay with this. cuz I don't understand. So of course, I looked at it and then I was like, oh, okay, so it's kind of like astrology because you put in your birth date and time and place, and then you get this chart, and then it kind of tells about your personality and stuff. So that just piqued my interest because I'd always been interested in astrology and things. I was never really great at understanding it, to be honest. Like, there was so much to it. I was just mind blown, right?

Jamie  

Yeah.

Aypril

And, and it, like, it was interesting. But I always felt like there was something missing for me with it. Like it was part of the picture. And it was important to me, but there's also other elements. And so human design for me, brought those other elements that made it into something that I could grasp onto and understand. But then it took me time to really integrate it. Because at first I heard I'm a projector and I'm like, Oh, cool. I'm like the 20%. Right. Like, I always wanted to be at a different one. And then I was like, I have to wait for the invitation. And I was like, that's not true. No, no, that can't be true. Because I make things happen. And I just do things and I do all these things. And then I started to reflect on it. I was like, Yeah, you do these things. But do they work out all the time? How much of my energy my pushing with because I had hit burnout, like complete burnout. A couple years, few years before this, before Human Design found me. And then it made sense. And I went, Oh my gosh, if I were living in alignment with this, I probably would not have burned out at the level that I did. I hit a point where I had a two year old and a four year old and I couldn't get off the couch most of the day, it was deep burner and when a projector or any non sacral. So a projector reflector, a manifester burns out we burn out a different level than the generators and manifesting generators. So generators and manifesting generators, you may be burned out, you may hate the work you do, but you can get up and do that work till the day you die. As a non sacral being cannot, we will hit the ground. We're here just like done. I have to change my life that is my child. If I don't change my life, I won't get back up.

Marlena  

Yes, yes.

Wow. Yeah.

Marlena  

Okay, I have a quick question. And this is on topic kind of off topic. I do this all the time. But. So you're certified quantum Human Design Specialist. And then there's also human design specialists. And I noticed like with some of the people that I talked to their quantum this, or so what is the quantum portion of that?

Aypril 

Yeah, so human design was brought forth by a man named Rob era, who are who went by the name Rob over who, in 1987. And it kind of was just a quiet thing that was happening, right, like it didn't really take off too far. And then I would say, probably in the last 10 years, it's really taken off in a lot of different ways. And I think social media plays a big part in that. So now we have people who have brought their own take to human design. And one of those people is Karen Cray Parker, and she trained with Rod 20, some years ago, and then she took the system and put this quantum, he's along with it, which it gives us a different perspective on the chart. So a lot of the language that Rob brought forth was meant to, like you said, shock people to wake them up. And so the language was often more harsh, you know, it was the martyr language, it was the opportunist language or, you know, there's just a lot of shock value in some of the words and, and language that was used. And I think that while that can be true, that that is helpful in some ways to wake people up, where we are now versus where society was in 1987 is very different. And so we have a lot more people who have woken up in a lot of ways. And we don't have to be so harsh, we don't have to shake them so hard to wake them up. And so the language that Karen brings forth with the quantum human design is really about, here's the energy, this is the energy of the chart, and the energy descriptions are very much the same in a lot of ways. But it's also looking at, okay, if each part of this chart is an archetype, we get to choose how we express this archetype. Just because we have the channel of struggle, doesn't mean that life is always going to be hard for us. That means that we are designed to have struggles in our life that teach us what's important. And then what we do with that is how we express that element of the chart. So we can think of like gate 38, which is about and 39, which are about like provocation and struggle. You know, it's like, we could look at that as this is just going to be really hard for us. We're gonna have a hard time our entire life and this is my lot in life. Or we could look at it and say, Well, I'm going to have to have it If my perspective and when things come up, I get to choose what I take away from that. And, and you know, people like Martin Luther King, Jr, he, you know, was a prime example of that, like this was a difficult circumstance. And he chose to do something different with it, he chose to make it have meaning, rather than letting it just be something that sucked. Yes. And I could say the same thing about being a projector, I could say, you know, a lot of the traditional language and I struggled with in this beginning, in the beginning, because I did start with traditional human design language. And it was you have to wait for the invitation, you can't make things happen. And the idea was brought to me as like, you just sit at home and wait for somebody to come and bite you. And I was like, how is that even possible? That doesn't make sense to me. So I'm just gonna knock on my door and be like, Hey, you want a job like that? Oh, but, but quantum human design gives us a different spin on that, it's like, you still go out and you interact with the world, you find the things that you love to do, and you do them for you, because they fulfill you. But by waiting for the invitation, you preserve your energy for the things that are really important. And then that is your, because that's your currency. Right? The energy is your currency. And because I don't have a renewable resource, or a source of energy that's like the generator or a manifesting generator, I don't wake up with a brand new charged battery every morning, have to wear it out and then go to sleep and then do it again, the next day, I have to choose where I put that energy. So if I go around, trying to force invitations, or if I just sit on my couch and do nothing, that's not going to get me very far. But if I do the things that I love, and put my energy and just being who I am, then the invitations come because people see me being who I am and being in energetic alignment. And then the invitations come but you have to be interacting with the world, you can't just sit in a basement doing nothing. The internet makes that a little bit easier.

Christy  

It does help with my hermit

Jamie  

personality. And that makes sense because I think the whole manifesting concept sometimes gets misconstrued with, well, if I just wished for it and want it and put it out in the universe, I can just sit here, and things happen.

Aypril 

Yeah, and I think the manifestation part really gets confusing, because we have this language in the self help world that says just manifest it just write your intentions, and it will happen. And it's a little different than that. It's more like we are planting the seeds of intention out there and asking the universe to respond to us. And, you know, if we say, I want a red Lamborghini, okay, now you're asking the universe to funnel all of the potentials through this one tiny little straw and say, This is the only straw that you can send me something through, I want this one. And that is it. Whereas if you say, I'd like a new car, right, like, oh, my gosh, there's so many possibilities, now you've opened it up, and this funnel has gotten so much bigger, the universe is like, Hey, I got something I can send you let me send you this, then you are able to receive that. So when we manifest when we're working on manifesting, you know, the the message is be very specific. But I would challenge that, and I would say, maybe be a little more open, and just plant the seeds of what the intentions are that you would like to see whether it's a new job or a new car, or whatever it is a new relationship. And let the universe send you what you might not even know that you want or need yet.

Jamie  

I love that so much. Let the universe do its job. As long as you put the energy and the openness out there. I have learned that I need to do a reading. Because I'm like, I'm just sitting back absorbing all this information, because I haven't had a human design done. So I'm just this is fascinating.

Marlena  

So we'll just wrap this up. But I know Jamie had a final question. I love this question. Jay, go ahead with it.

Jamie  

Thank you for everything. Like I'm excited to dive more into it. But with our conversation, what is the takeaway you want to leave us with in regards to human design? If there's just a couple of things you would like to send us away with? What would you like to tell everyone?

Aypril  

Let me I think there's so much right. But I think that human design is something that allows us to find meaning and the things that happen to us in life. It allows us to understand who we are in a different way than a lot of other modalities do. And I guess I've never really had even the people who have done a reading for that initially, some aspects. They say, No, that's not true. They later come back and reveal that it's been conditioning and then they go Oh, yeah, you know what I actually sat with that for a while and did some deconditioning. And I can see that this is true for me. So I think that it helps us to see who we are and give purpose to the pain that we sometimes feel in life. And it also allows us to see other people and have more compassion. Passion for them, and understanding for the people who challenges most who provoke us most. And for our kids who we don't always understand, you know, I think that it just really is something that gives us a unique lens to see somebody through. And it in a lot of ways, it's a shortcut to finding those things. And I think that that's a huge benefit. Because how much time do we have?

Marlena  

Right? I love that. April, thank you so much for being on the show. I do want to ask you, I guess this is the final final, but what are the services that you offer on your website, April porter.com, or that our listeners can make contact and get readings in all the things? Yeah, so

Aypril  

I do individual human design readings, I do readings for kids, I do family readings. And I also do return readings. So every year on your birthday, you can do a solar return to see what the energy coming to you in the next year is. You also have Saturn Return at around age 30. And again, at around age 60. We have our Uranus opposition, which is that mid lifetime around age 40, where a lot changes for us. And then there's a Chiron return at 50, which every one of these brings new energy to our chart. And it's you know, our chart has a theme to it, we have a theme in our birth chart that is not by accident, it is about the energy and the things that we're here to learn. And then each of these returns kind of puts a new flavor on it and gives us a new learning element. So I think that those can be a lot of fun. Just to see, especially I think in some of those harder times were around 30, around 40. Those are probably two of the biggest that we have transitions, right through life cycles. And sometimes we feel like why is my world turning upside down? What is my purpose? What am I doing? Oh, my God.

Jamie  

She's speaking our truth.

Aypril

So those are the main things that I'm offering right now. I also have some self guided self paced classes, one on parenting and one on the emotional waves. And so that's what I have right now. And I do some coaching. And it's really kind of all over the place. So I'll do like health coaching, but it's always it always has an element of human design threaded through it. So

Marlena  

absolutely amazing. Everybody go check out April Porter, also her book parenting the child that you have reimagining the parent child relationship through the lens of human design, please go out and get that book. April. Again, thank you so much for being on the show. You've been absolutely amazing and given us so much insight on human design.

Aypril 

Yeah. Thank you for having me. Thank Thank you,

Marlena  

Christina, let you take it away.

Christy  

Thank you for listening to this very special episode of a witch mystic and a feminist and joining us to talk about human design. Please be sure to listen next week. We will join you back here on Tuesday.