Rewiring Life Stories: Tony Simpson on the Transformative Power of NLP and Life Coaching

Speaker 1: 0:26

Hello everyone and welcome to a witch, a mystic, and a feminist. Today we are embarking on a transformative journey with a returning guest who has undergone remarkable changes since our last conversation Last year. We had the pleasure of hosting Tony Simpson, one half of the Salty Twins, where we discussed loss, family and the mission of the Salty Twins. Fast forward to present and you will find Tony has undergone a profound evolution, Stepping into his role as a life coach. With divine guided life coaching. He's on a mission to guide others through the labyrinth of limiting beliefs, helping others reshape their mindset for a more empowered life. Tony, welcome back.

Speaker 2: 1:05

Yes, hi, it's so nice to be back here Hello.

Speaker 1: 1:09

Hi, tony, I mean. So a lot has changed in the past year. It has, it has.

Speaker 2: 1:16

I feel like every year I become a new person.

Speaker 1: 1:19

But, and I say, a lot has changed in the last year, but really just your presence on social media in the past year has changed. I don't think that you in essence have changed. You're just providing one different content and starting something new yourself.

Speaker 2: 1:38

Yeah, I like to call it upgrading. I'm real focused on becoming more aligned with my true self and just overcoming limited beliefs that I have within myself. And yeah, after talking to you ladies, there was a seed that was planted with life coaching and because of that podcast, everything lined up and I decided to really lean into faith and pursue life coaching as not just a career but a life purpose.

Speaker 4: 2:13

So thank you. Wow, so how did that progress? I mean, the seed was planted, and then can you talk about how that kind of evolved?

Speaker 2: 2:22

Yeah. So I've always been someone that I'm just on this mission to, or I was on this mission to, figure out my life's purpose. So in my 20s I probably had 30, 40 different jobs. So I'd work a job if it didn't align with my values or didn't feel right. I wasn't going to do something that didn't bring happiness into my life because I had so many traumatic events that I had lessons to learn about. And so in my 20s that's what I did. And so, moving into the Salty Twins, I thought that was my passion, which it still is, but not necessarily as a career or business, more of like spending time with my brother and filming and having a good time. So I will still post on the Salty Twins. But then over the last handful of years, through the change that I've made within myself, moving through compound trauma and reshaping my own perception of the world and myself, I've had a handful of people in my life that have either been alcoholics and on the brink of suicide or I, like right now I'm working with a CFO and in the last four months he's totally shifted his mindset and he's having these major deals come in that never came in, but that's not creating the happiness within himself. He's creating the happiness within himself. And just over the last handful of years having people be drawn to me, you know it. Just, I never thought of the word life coaching. You know, I just wanted to help people love themselves and after speaking on the podcast last time, a little seed was planted and then I just did a bunch of research and like, okay, how do I become a life coach? Like, how does this work, you know? And I got certified and I've been in this program for almost 12 months called NLP, and then I'm actually going to go back to school for neuroscience. So yeah, so what exactly is NLP. So it's neuro linguistic programming, it's understanding how the mind works and the neural connections and being able to like reshape it. So, for instance, we all have internal representations. So, let's say, an event or an experience like this one right now, all four of us are perceiving this, this podcast, this session differently, and our internal representation of this experience creates a certain emotion. Maybe it's really positive, maybe it's positive, maybe it's negative, but that internal representation helps guide us with our decisions in the future. So all of our decisions now came from our internal representations of the past, and I've done sessions with people that you can tell they're having a really hard time. They've been having a hard time because they have this lesson to be learned. They just don't know how to understand it or learn from it. And I do a certain technique and by the end it's like it's like I went back in time and I changed that internal representation for them and so when they think about that, they no longer have that emotion that drives their actions in a negative way. It's positive, it's crazy, it's so cool, it's fascinating.

Speaker 4: 5:46

I'm just thinking of, like, if that emotion was shame, right, and you were like able to reframe that and take that away, right, how different their life could be going forward. I don't know, just blew my mind a little bit, just thinking of that specific emotion.

Speaker 1: 6:00

Mm-hmm, wow, yeah, because I think, at least with the four of us sitting here, there are times where we look at something and do feel shame. So how would you go back in time, like you know, what are some of the techniques that you would use? Yeah, sorry to put you on the spot, but you know I'm interested. Yeah, I'm curious. How would you work with a client? So say me, you know, I feel this certain emotion with regards to can't think of anything right now, but or anything that I want to say.

Speaker 2: 6:36

Yeah, so everyone's different. It's almost like I'll explain it a couple of different ways. The first way is, when I got into meditation, there was like this limiting belief of man meditation is just going to take so much energy, I can't do it all this stuff. So I got into guided meditation and so guided meditation helped me overcome certain emotions, so let's say, lack of love or confidence or money or different things. It's basically the same thing as NLP or it could be certain techniques, but it's more. Hypnotherapy meditation is, but it's guided. And so what I do is everyone can overcome and learn the lessons in their life by themselves. They can, but it's going to take a long time or it could. For me it took six, seven years, turning off the TV, no social media, just books and books and books, and without any sort of one on one coach. So I have mentors through books and stuff like that. But for me is I figure out where someone's at and I help them get a bird's eye view of their life. So I separate them from their thoughts instead of being involved in their thoughts. They're now aware of their thoughts without judging, without trying to change, without trying to change them, just simply being aware. And once you separate that emotion from your thoughts, you gain so much control of your life because it's not a rabbit hole. You don't think of one thought and then all of a sudden you know you're yelling at your husband or your coworkers because of something that happened 20 years ago. And once that awareness is created, then I ask them OK, where do you want to go? And this is through different techniques, but where do you want to go? So I figure out the end solution and then, depending on if it's a spiritual blockage, if it's a psychological or neurological blockage, whether we're in person or virtual, different techniques work differently and then I can do different techniques to help shift their internal representations and create either healing or just changing triggers or upgrading triggers. Everyone's different. There's no cookie cutter, like for me. I'm super mindful. You know, I love meditation, spiritual guidance, stuff like that, whereas I work with some people and they close their eyes for 10 seconds and they're just not that way, and so I do more of the like. One is called the submodality switchboard technique, so it's a lot of words. So do you know the fuse box on your house? Yes, so imagine a memory experience in your life. Plants a fuse box inside your brain, ok, and when I can get them into the unconscious mind, the subconscious mind, to where their mind's not running, which, if you breathe in for at least four seconds and exhale for at least four seconds, you'll naturally access the unconscious mind and stop. So I breathe in is so important to calm down. But that fuse box I can go in and say, ok, what's your emotion, how are you feeling right now? Terrible, really bad, guilty, shame, all this stuff. And then I say, ok, well, let's change this one thing. Is it in color or black and white? Oh, it's in color, ok, let's change it to black and white. How does that feel? And I mean instantly. They could be. Oh, my gosh, sounds, is it? Is it your dad that's screaming at you? Ok, let's change it to some high pitch, funny squirrel voice, you know. And it creates this different emotion. At first I was like kind of skeptical when I was doing the, the, the NLP, just because of how simple and different it was. I was like changes can't happen that fast, but they really can, they truly can. So, yeah, that's that's one out of 17 or 18 different techniques that I've learned from this program.

Speaker 1: 10:42

So that's amazing. I know it's beautiful. I'm like the fact that you can just change that little thing to be able to change your life. So, when it comes to NLP and life coaching and you doing research, what drew you to that? You look at life coaching and different certifications and stuff like that and there's just a vast array of it. What drew you to NLP? God?

Speaker 2: 11:12

God I am. I believe in religion, I'm not religious. I don't believe that God, and how vast he is and the fact that he's connected to everything in this world and this universe and even even beyond it, from you know the micro organisms to the biggest things, and how complex everything is I don't think he'd create one like religion that is boxed in, and if you don't believe this, you don't get to this point. God is unconditional love, and unconditional love is total acceptance of all beings, of everything, good and bad, the worst of the worst, and I forgot who it was. There was someone that said that I may get heat for this, but this comes from a really divine place. And do I think he did things horribly, absolutely, absolutely terrible, but do I believe that God has love for him? Yeah, it's like people like Hitler, you know. But what was your question? Sorry, I went on a tangent. How did I get there? Yeah, I mean, I just have so much love, you know.

Speaker 1: 12:26

I get what you're saying, though, because you were divinely guided to NLP. I was just seeing if there was anything that like if you researched other things and this attracted you more, kind of thing.

Speaker 2: 12:37

Yeah, all last year I was trying to find a job with life coaching a job just so I can get experience and there was no job. You know, there is no like or I could not find it of. Okay, yeah, we'll hire you. And so I just started getting training and I was paying for these different things. I've got certified in life coaching, so I'm a certified life coach. I found neuro-linguistic programming, which I had no idea what it was. I just was attracted to the mentor and he's been doing it for 25, 30 years and so I just needed that mentor and it pulled me into NLP. I don't know if NLP is gonna be a huge part of like the actual techniques are gonna be a huge part of my practice, but they do help and they have helped a lot of people. I'm really fascinated about understanding, like, the neuro connections and the neuroscience behind the changes of the brain as well as how it's connected to our heart center and the changes spiritually. And so going back to school and then breath work I wanna study breath work. I also am a part of a yoga school and I'm already signed up. I already took care of that, but I have so much else that I'm studying right now that eventually I'll get to that and I'll learn it.

Speaker 1: 13:56

But I totally get that because I mean I've worked with a number of mentors and I basically gained the information that I need in that moment, and when it's time for me to find another mentor, I do kind of thing and so working with somebody different now. But so I'm picking up what you're putting down with that and just wanting to absorb all of the information that you can and working with what works.

Speaker 2: 14:22

Yeah, it's nonstop, isn't it? It's just, we're all like constantly learning forever for life, you know.

Speaker 1: 14:30

Yes.

Speaker 2: 14:31

So might as well learn something that you're fascinated about, rather than something that you're not Right.

Speaker 3: 14:36

Yeah, exactly this sounds amazing and like right up your alley. You have such like an approachable, calming sense of like, even having this casual conversation, you're very calming, you're very. You just have this aura that's just warm. So this is absolutely gonna be perfect for you. I know you're gonna do great things with this.

Speaker 2: 14:59

Yeah, I appreciate that, jamie. You know, when you are gifted an opportunity to climb from the deepest, darkest caves and you can see sunlight, all you wanna do is help other people get out of the cave. Yeah, so it's not about me Everything that I'm learning. Yeah, it's learning about me, but I'm just like I'm an open book. I'm like you truly can do it. If whoever is listening to this, you truly can do anything you want to Like. If you're in a place to where it's. You know the new year, you started new habits and you fell off. Find someone that can help you achieve the things. Find a coach, find a life coach, find a mentor in that field. Find someone in your sphere of influence that is living the piece of life that you wanna live, or just do it yourself and block out everything from the world. That's what I did. It's tough but you know, you come out of it like a butterfly, yeah.

Speaker 4: 16:01

Yeah, from a cocoon.

Speaker 2: 16:03

Yeah. A rebirth, a rebirth exactly. You know you're so sweet. Thank you, jamie, for that.

Speaker 3: 16:08

That's amazing. Of course, I'm already excited. I'm like, ooh, maybe I'm excited.

Speaker 1: 16:14

You know, Jamie is there in Vegas, so you know, yeah, I'm a little bit of in-person.

Speaker 2: 16:20

Yeah, absolutely yeah, this is my office. Yeah, it's in my house.

Speaker 3: 16:24

Yay, nice, I like it, I like it.

Speaker 1: 16:27

But there's other things you're working on too, right, you and I? We were discussing this earlier in the week when we were just chatting, some of the things like public speaking and things like that, and we were like, oh, I want to go into that a little bit.

Speaker 2: 16:40

What do you got going on? Have you heard of the YouTube channel called yes Theory?

Speaker 4: 16:44

No no I haven't no.

Speaker 2: 16:47

So they, years ago, started this YouTube channel Group of Guys and they decided to start saying yes to things instead of saying no. And Right, I have an opportunity to speak in front of thousands of people. Have I ever done public speaking more than the prayer or the blessing at the family gets together? No, but it's not about me and it's the direction that I want to go and I want to reach people, and so I said yes. And it's a gymnastics event. There's going to be, I think, 3,000 kids and their parents and stuff. The owner of the gym that's working in correlation with the event. He's asked me to come in and speak to his athletes, and so I did. And now, once a week, I go there and I'm teaching mindset, how to overcome fear and just reshaping the internal representations of the youth. And, like there's never a right or wrong when it comes to perception and what I mean by that is, for me it may be right or wrong, but for you it may be completely different but being able to not create our own perception or our own belief system based off of everyone else around us, but what's truly aligned within our self. And so that's my goal is to help bring awareness to their life of like, no matter what positive, negative happens in your life, let's figure out what works for you and let's figure out the angle and break down these steps of how to achieve that. So that's really unique. And then I also coach my old high school varsity wrestling. I'm one of the coaches I'm not a head coach but then I teach that mindset and it's amazing how quickly they can go from being super negative and talking to themselves negative and by handful of weeks later they're believing in themselves. It's awesome. It's something that I had with my mom, but then she got sick. So bringing it around, yeah, that's beautiful Wow.

Speaker 3: 19:01

And with the youth, like that age is so hard as it is so right.

Speaker 1: 19:07

Because I mean, I know, when I was playing softball when I was younger and doing travel ball and stuff like that, like we didn't have any coaches to teach us about mindset. So I think it's awesome and even going back to, like Alexis and when they were fighting, I do wish that I had a different mindset, like the mindset that I have now to be able to work with them and the other students. So I think it's extremely beneficial and, god, I'm just so proud of you, dude.

Speaker 2: 19:44

I was thinking about this the other day. I'm like man. I just thinking about where I was in my early 20s. I had no control of my life. Hands were off the wheel. I wasn't even in the passenger seat. I was holding onto the bumper behind the car getting dragged. I had to figure out how to climb up and get that control of the wheel again. But that's my story, and people are a lot closer than they think they are. They just need to lean in more to the yes. Just what's the worst that's going to happen? If you just say yes, you can always back out later if you want, if it's too much, if you're not ready. But yes, I get a lot of people that reach out about things depression, traumatic events, living through near-death experiences, alcoholism and there's a lot of people that want to change. But they have this little wall and I say little because literally it's at their head and all they have to do is put their hands up and climb over it, but they can't see past it. And past it is happiness, is overcoming, it is changing those internal representations or the lens that we were in life during different days or different events and helping them overcome it. And so I encourage anyone that's listening to this is just say yes, 10% more and see the change and then, depending on that change, hopefully that gives you enough inertia and enough value to continue to say yes. So yeah.

Speaker 1: 21:26

I love that, but I'm sitting here going, so let me give you a couple of examples. I've had the opportunity to, or I've been presented with opportunities to be on other podcasts, but I have not said yes. How come? Because it's easier for me to interview people, because I'm curious, but it's hard for me to find, to be the one who's supposed to be, and I don't want to say the expert, but you know, the one answering the questions, and that scares the shit out of me. I know it's fear, it's 100% fear, just like part of my soul's purpose and life path. I've had a number of psychics and mediums tell me that I'm supposed to be on stage giving talks and stuff like that. You know, kind of like what you're going to be doing, but I'm so scared of it and I can't get past that point. Or you know, and like I'll say yes and then I'll be like you know, oh, I can't, I have pneumonia. Or oh, I can't, I have this, like you know, and I freak myself out to where I'm.

Speaker 2: 22:41

What is something you can say instead of can't? The moment you say can't, you can never.

Speaker 1: 22:47

I don't want to because I'm scared. I can say that and I have no problem saying that, because I say that on a regular basis. It's like you know I have these opportunities, but I don't because I'm afraid, and you know. It's like, yeah, you were saying what's the worst that can happen. You know and I know, like with starting this podcast I was afraid but we did it and I didn't die Like I thought I was going to.

Speaker 2: 23:15

And how does that feel?

Speaker 1: 23:16

I thought I died. Um, but to take that next step, I just. I haven't gotten past that fear yet. Okay, so that's trying.

Speaker 2: 23:30

I encourage you to be aware of the word can't and remove that from your vocabulary. So the moment you remove that, your mind will now start seeking opportunities to overcome the fear. Okay, right, so one of the layers is removed. If you can do that, now it's the fear. Now you have to figure out a way to want to overcome the fear. So let me ask you do you want to overcome the fear?

Speaker 1: 24:03

Honestly, I think, at this very moment, I I know, yeah, no, and which is? Which is totally fine, yeah.

Speaker 2: 24:14

That that's the thing is like. It's the honesty. The honesty creates change a lot quicker than the denial.

Speaker 1: 24:21

Okay.

Speaker 2: 24:22

Like oh yeah, you know I'm, I'm scared, Totally. Everyone, all the emotions you're feeling right now, every single person on this earth ever and forever have and will feel those emotions.

Speaker 1: 24:33

You're not alone, Right and so because my hands are sweaty, like because you're asking me questions. You're the one asking questions, Like my hands are super sweaty and I'm like, but I'm the one who asked the questions and you know, and this is my podcast and you're the guest, and so why are you asking me questions? And you know, my brain is just like it's doing my brain thing.

Speaker 4: 24:58

Your brain is doing your brain thing. Okay.

Speaker 2: 25:01

So then the change needs to happen on a subconscious level, right Cause, when you're breathing, if you notice you're breathing right now, try to try to barely stretch your breathing out at least four seconds four seconds in and four seconds out. And if you are having trouble doing that, it's because you're breathing really fast and you're in the fight or flight response and you're living from the neck up. So you're in the monkey mind, right, you're creating these hypothetical situations that 99.99% would never happen. So, as we slow down, as you start feeling that fear, what I want you to do, just for the next week, right, is just bring awareness to it. So put your hand on your heart center and breathe into it and just slow down and just start separating from it and just be aware of what it feels like inside, without trying to change it. Don't try to overcome it, don't try to grow from it. And then give me a call next week and tell me how that was. Just do that.

Speaker 1: 25:58

I was going to call you next week anyway, but you know we have an actual agenda, yeah.

Speaker 2: 26:07

So, yeah, it's pretty simple, but it's facing it right. It's like that you have fear and then you have the fear of facing it because of the fear.

Speaker 1: 26:15

Right, yes, yes.

Speaker 3: 26:19

Yeah, but oh, I was just going to say because you know, marlena was asking her question and she said right now, I'm okay, not changing it, I'm okay and I think that's valid, right. Like there are things I have a true fear of heights. Do I ever want to jump out of a plane? No, and can I? Yes, I certainly could. I don't want to and I can die doing that. I'm okay with that. I think that's always like my judgment, right. Like, can you live the rest of your life not ever eating that or doing that or trying that? I can't.

Speaker 1: 26:56

And I'm okay with that, and I think that's where the difference is. Yeah, you know, I do eventually. Yeah, To get to that place where I'm not so fearful of being asked questions or speaking in public or, you know, being on podcasts or doing those types of things. I want to get to that point. I'm just not there yet, or I haven't worked past that fear and, like you said, jumping out of a plane I could totally die being like, yeah, that was never on my bucket list and I, you know I am. It's not a regret of mine. There is. If I don't do something like this and I've always been too fearful of doing it that will be a regret of mine. Yeah.

Speaker 3: 27:47

Right, it's a question of you're going to regret it later or not, is it?

Speaker 4: 27:51

that important to you. It's very interesting how timely this is, because I am entering into a new opportunity and I'm scared, shitless, I'm terrified, and I'm doing it anyway. So, and Tony, you talking about, do you want to get past the fear? And when you asked Marlene that question, my brain was like yeah, you do, like you absolutely fucking do. But like when is that going to happen? I don't know. And so you know, it literally has been an every other day. One day I'm terrified, the next day I'm excited and hopeful and it is exhausting. But I am doing it, and I'm not doing it without fear. I'm doing it scared, I'm going into it scared, but I'm going into it knowing that I have to take the opportunity, I have to say yes. I want to say yes and I want to grow and I want to do this. So it's just, it's always so, it's never coincidental these episodes, and so I want to write. I'm very thankful for you, tony, but I shouldn't even be surprised that this is so tiring, but I am, and so, yes, I am experiencing that exact thing.

Speaker 2: 29:16

Yeah, how incredible is this? That the same right, the same fear in all three of you is presented differently with this circumstance. You could take something else and mix it up, and maybe Marlena would be in Christie's position or Jamie would be in Marlena's position, and that's like. Life is not black and white. Let's stop beating up ourselves. If we would change the way we would talk to ourself, our life gets so much easier. Don't get me wrong. There's still problems, but they're not like. They're not like avalanche problems. That's debilitating. That's like I would. How I talked to myself years ago. I would never want to talk to my kids that way. I would never want to talk to my wife that way. So like, yeah, so I don't know. I'm fascinated by it. There's this calling to understand, to learn, and I think it's. I know it's because of the unconditional love towards people, and that's like. What I'm striving for is to separate the behavior and habits. So the behavior and habits is like the crust of earth. But then you have all this other stuff of just pure love, unconditional love that every single human being has within themself, and so it's. You know, it's getting through that crust right. A judgment of self, of others, of the limiting beliefs, all this stuff. But then life would just be if. Without that life would be like why? Why have this life? You know? That's what after this life is for right.

Speaker 3: 31:00

Right, yes, I don't know. It's all hypothetical on this side and I love how simple. I know it takes a lot of work, but the concepts that you've talked about have been very simply explained. Like you said, just switching that, that story narrative, you know, taking you back to that time of trauma and and flipping the switch, you know it's just, it's, it's just beautiful because it's it's not like you got to do all these crazy things, like let's go back to that and just change the narrative a little bit. How does that help you now? And yeah, they're example of the fuse box and just it's just beautiful. That's all I'm going to say.

Speaker 2: 31:47

It's like the scrunch.

Speaker 1: 31:48

We're all going to start working with you, tony, momentarily, I know, I know, yes.

Speaker 3: 31:52

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 4: 31:56

I'm not even online too.

Speaker 2: 31:58

Online. Yeah, most of mine are online. I have some, some in-persons, okay, but since my office is in my home, there's a good vetting process for people to come into my home because my wife is here. So obviously you three are more than welcome to come here. But someone that reaches out on Instagram that is the first time I'm meeting it's. It's online.

Speaker 3: 32:23

Yeah.

Speaker 2: 32:24

Gotcha. Yeah, and it's probably more comfortable for them to you know not walk and pass the dog and the cat, yeah.

Speaker 1: 32:32

Right, but I love your dog and your cat.

Speaker 2: 32:33

You know I'm coming in for a session and you smell bacon in the morning. You know.

Speaker 3: 32:38

Yeah bacon, yeah, bacon.

Speaker 1: 32:40

Tony, thank you so much for joining us. Thank you, can you let everybody know how to get in contact with you if they are interested in learning a little bit more about what you do and your services?

Speaker 2: 32:53

Yes, if you are interested in upgrading your life and you're in a place where either you want to bring awareness to yourself and or you're ready to change, go to Instagram and my handle is I underscore AM underscore Tony Simpson. So I underscore M underscore Tony Simpson. I am Tony Simpson and you can send me a direct message there. I can send you a link and first we'll set up a consultation, see if it's a fit and then we'll move forward. But I appreciate you three so much, with all my heart. I am so grateful. I love you.

Speaker 4: 33:30

I love you yeah.

Speaker 2: 33:33

Thanks for opening up and being vulnerable. It was awesome.

Speaker 3: 33:37

Yeah, I love it. It's what we do, good job.

Speaker 4: 33:40

All right. Thank you everyone for listening to this episode of A Witch, a Mystic and a Feminist. Please visit our webpage WMFpodcom to interact and look at past episodes and then, wherever you're listening to this, go ahead and smash that like button, rate, comment all the good things and we really appreciate it and we'll see you on the next episode.